I was lying the other day on the beach and there were many families with kids around me. As usual I was observing how the parents treat children and how the kids behave.

What really bothered me that day was that some parents were treating their kids as they were little babies even when they were already 4, 6 or even more years old.

Are you doing the same mistake? Do you always stand behind your kid and follow each step? Are you yelling: “Dress up, you will catch cold?” or “Don’t go there, you will fall!” or even “You already ate one ice-cream today, you might get ill if you eat more!”. And then there were parents who were dressing and undressing the kids. Running after them with sandwiches. Going with them to the ice-cream parlor just few steps away. Or have them wear shoes all the time.

By over-protecting your kid you are doing great damage to his self-esteem and his self-worth. You are taking away his power to do the things his way and to learn by doing. And you are depriving him of some great experiences.

Here are some tips you might consider doing:

• Even small kids can quickly learn to dress and undress, so let them do it by themselves. There is no need that you control them or even do it for them. So what if not everything is just perfect. The kids don’t mind and they can play as well with two different socks.
• Let your kid do errands – kids are eager to learn things that adults are doing. Let them do basic chores (like making beds, doing the laundry, getting out garbage, even some cooking and cleaning). It will take time at first, but you can be sure, they will learn soon enough. Not only will they feel empowered, you’ll have less work to do
• Give them some tools. Except when the stuff is too heavy or dangerous, when you should protect your child, let them bang and saw just like his daddy. The final product is not as much important as the feeling of creation. And when you actually produce something together they will be so proud.
• Send your kid to buy something. Do it with caution, but let him go to the store, pick up things and pay for them. Start with small list, ice-cream or donut , and wait for the kid in front of the store.
• Negotiate some basic rules when you go out with the kid, like how far he can go by himself, where you will wait for him and where you will meet again, but then let go. Watch from distance how he plays and where he goes.
• Do not intervene at every quarrel he has with the friends at the park. Trust him that he will handle it by himself. But make sure he is aware that he can always get your help if he asks for it.
• Kids know when they are hungry and thirsty. There is no need for you asking them all the time. Have special time for the meal, but before and after that they don’t really need to eat.
• Let the kids enjoy nature by walking barefoot on the beach, in the sea, through grass… Let them be outside when it rains. They are not so fragile. And if you protect them all the time, they will sure get cold when you least expect it.
• Let them get dirty. Clothes and hands can get washed, but the kids watching others from distance and being afraid to mess the clothes can get really miserable.

When you let your kid do things by himself, he will be more eager to learn more. He will gain confidence and will be more likely to try new things. He will learn to listen to his own voice and to judge the situation better, because he will have some previous experience. He will be more open to other people, but still careful and prudent.
And what is important as well, you will learn to trust your kid. You will be calmer and more peaceful, knowing that he can take care of himself and be responsible.

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. (Thomas Edison)

I promised my little one a bunny if she will make her bed every day and have her room all tidied up. That was in February, and all the time to the end of school year, her room was shining:) So I had to keep my promise. And we bought one, Blacky (’cause she is all black). Then older daughter wanted her own bunny, too and after few weeks we bought another one, Princess (she is white).

Of course we bought everything that comes along – little cage, brush, toilet, … everything. And after a while, when Blacky was growing rapidly, we decided to get the fence, so she can be outside sometimes. We purchased two equal fences, one for outside and one for the kitchen, because the cage was becoming too small and we happen to have some space.

One day we sat in the garden and Blacky came jumping to us. We looked at each other, wondering how she got there. And soon realised, she jumped (or rather climbed) over the fence. In order not to worry where she is, we bought a net to cover her place. She tries to jump over even to this day.

But… they have the same fence in the kitchen. It’s where they are, when they can’t be outside (at nights, when we are at work and children in school, when it is raining…). And she never even tries to jump over.

Isn’t it funny how she sees the fence diferently? Maybe because there is not so much open space around? Or maybe she tried and didn’t succeed? And she just stopped trying?

Makes me wonder about our own perceptions? Do we always try no matter what? Even if we believe that we did it once and failed? Do we try again?

What about the children? Do you inspire them to keep trying? Do you motivate them to ignore mistakes? Or learn from the failures and keep trying?