The BEST Children Lessons

Posts Tagged ‘teach responsibility’

When I asked my girls to do some simple stuff around the house, they immediately started complaining: You are giving us so much to do; it’s so difficult; it will take us whole afternoon; we are having school holidays and you are making us work and so on and so on…. You know how that goes?

Annoyed with their complaining I asked: “Those are really simple tasks like taking the trash our, how long do you think it will take you to do them?”

And of course they answered: “It’s so much work! We will do these for the whole afternoon”.

I said: “OK, let’s see.”

Then I prepared a table with tasks and left some space for notes. When they start performing those little tasks, I measured time and as you might imagine they did everything in 15 minutes. But it was fun and because of that it was not so difficult to do.

So, next time you want something from your kids, make it a challenge:

1. Measure how much time something will take them to do
2. Make a competition – who will be first to finish the tasks
3. Let them guess how much time will they need for the task and see how close they got
4. Set a time goal and see if they can perform within the specified time frame

Just like the kids learn through play and the play is their job, it will be so much easier if you make their “job” a play. Let them do something at their own pace and even their own way. As long as it is done what do you care how it is done.

Many kids start new school year at September 1st. A lot of them are waiting anxiously to meet their friends, but many are afraid to go to school. Maybe they are starting at the new school or they just don’t like their school and their “friends”. They might be bullied or ridiculed by their schoolmates.

What can you as a parent do about it? How can you help?
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I was lying the other day on the beach and there were many families with kids around me. As usual I was observing how the parents treat children and how the kids behave.

What really bothered me that day was that some parents were treating their kids as they were little babies even when they were already 4, 6 or even more years old.

Are you doing the same mistake? Do you always stand behind your kid and follow each step? Are you yelling: “Dress up, you will catch cold?” or “Don’t go there, you will fall!” or even “You already ate one ice-cream today, you might get ill if you eat more!”. And then there were parents who were dressing and undressing the kids. Running after them with sandwiches. Going with them to the ice-cream parlor just few steps away. Or have them wear shoes all the time.

By over-protecting your kid you are doing great damage to his self-esteem and his self-worth. You are taking away his power to do the things his way and to learn by doing. And you are depriving him of some great experiences.
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When we have our own kids, we want them to raise into responsible, accountable human beings, but very often parents limit the children’ power to express themselves and to take charge. We tell them what to do and how to do it. Some parents might argue that we are trying to protect them from the dangers of the world, but by doing so we are taking away their control and self-esteem. Parents need to learn to give the kids responsibility for their lives.

Here are few ways how you can do it from early years on.

When the kids are really small they depend on you and your care. But as soon as they can do something by their own, let them do it. Encourage their trying and efforts. Just like we are enthusiastic about walking, speaking and riding a bike, teach them other smaller tasks like dressing up, eating, putting away toys etc. with the same enthusiasm.
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