I’m sure your immediate answer would be: “Of course, I do.” But do you really? Or do you believe in him only at certain occasions, whenever it is appropriate. Do you trust that he will do something that he’s never done before? Or that he is capable of doing something you think he is too young to do? Or that he can judge the situation by himself?
Whether you have small child or a teenager, there are always some tasks that you may find unsuitable or dangerous for the child.
I had a conversation with a friend the other day about children’s help in the kitchen.
I let my children help in the kitchen and cook the meals, even if I had to throw away some ingredients or even if we sometimes ate overcooked spaghetti or too salty salad. I trusted them with the knives at quite early age. They started with the salads and progressed to cooking and baking. Now when I am not at home they are totally capable of preparing the meal for the whole family. I am not afraid that they will cut themselves or that they will burn the house. Of course we had some accidents, but, hey, that’s life.
But on the other hand, my friend said that her daughter would really love to help, but she doesn’t have the time to wait for her, because the girl is too slow. By the time the poor kid does something, my friend gets the whole meal ready.
And this whole conversation makes me think, how we sometimes sabbotage our children with our own limiting beliefs. We do the things instead of them, because they are too small, too slow, too weak… We prepare their clothes for next day, we pack their bags, we cut their meat, we serve them food, we drove them to school, we study with them…
Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail. Charles F. Kettering
But actually we are doing it because we don’t have time, patience or positive beliefs in our children. We often think, that they would not do it themselves as good as we do. Oh, and sometimes it is too dangerous. I know, sometimes really is, but often times we are just protecting ourselves from more work and worries.
What are you doing yourself that you are limiting your child? Is it really helping your child? What message are you delivering to your child? Is it that he is not capable, competent, nor trustworthy? Or do you believe in him and give him a chance to prove it? Think about it!
