The BEST Children Lessons

Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

Some kids are open and can make new friends quite easily where ever they go. And some are just nothing like that. They stick to their mothers and won’t move away for an inch. Their mothers usually say: “It is such a shy kid.” But in reality only part of this can be attributed to their nature. It’s also the result of their upbringing and circumstances.

Now at the beginning of new school year or going to the kindergarten for the first time, it can be quite challenging for some kids to be comfortable with new people.

Here are few tips how you can help your child to make new friends:

1. Examine your own thoughts, words and actions!

However strange it may sound, it all starts with you. How do you behave with strangers? What are you saying abut other people? How do you describe other kids? Are they adorable little creatures or those awful dirty screaming punks?

When you relate to others with negative words and even frightening your child, he will certainly feel insecure around new people. If they will be nice to him, he might even feel that he is betraying you if he is to return the kindness.

If you act reserved and going away from other people it’s great probability that your kid will act the same way.

2. Take it slow

Sometimes the kids are naturally shy and need some more time, even if you are very outspoken and open. In this case, keep your positive attitude, as it can help a lot. Approach other kids and communicate with them, making sure your kid see that it’s safe and that it’s ok to talk and play with them.

Encourage interactions with other people but don’t push your kid to make friends. He might need some more time. Allow him enough time and space to get comfortable with others. Maybe you can invite some families over your house for some ice-cream or lemonade. It will be much easier for your kid dealing with strangers in  familiar environment.

3. Keep it safe!

Even though most people are nice and friendly, there are some who are not. Let your kid know about dangers and how to react when faced with them. It is important not to scare or even threaten your kid. Explain differnet, possibly hazardous situations in simple and neutral terms.

How do you help your child when meeting new people and making new friends? Please share your thoughts and comme

I remember I was always afraid of the snakes, even from my youngest days. In Slovenia snakes are quite rare and you are not very likely to meet one. But I somehow manage to see snakes where ever I go. Last time we were at the Kolpa river bathing and enjoying ourselves and suddenly there was a snake in front of me. I panicked and we immediately left the place. We then talked to a friend who lives near the river and he saw a snake once in his entire life. My husband said: “You must be attracting snakes, you are seeing them everywhere.” And at the time I didn’t think about it until someone said: ”It’s a good sign!” I got curious and searched the net and I only found really good and positive descriptions.

Snakes mean wisdom, healing, intuition, awaking of creative forces, ability to handle change without resistance, new opportunities for change, material vitality, intellect emotional control and increased sensitivity to the environment. Really great, isn’t? And now wherever I go I am looking for snakes eager to see one.

The only thing that changed in this story is my perspective, my point of view and my attitude.
Read the rest of this entry »

When we have our own kids, we want them to raise into responsible, accountable human beings, but very often parents limit the children’ power to express themselves and to take charge. We tell them what to do and how to do it. Some parents might argue that we are trying to protect them from the dangers of the world, but by doing so we are taking away their control and self-esteem. Parents need to learn to give the kids responsibility for their lives.

Here are few ways how you can do it from early years on.

When the kids are really small they depend on you and your care. But as soon as they can do something by their own, let them do it. Encourage their trying and efforts. Just like we are enthusiastic about walking, speaking and riding a bike, teach them other smaller tasks like dressing up, eating, putting away toys etc. with the same enthusiasm.
Read the rest of this entry »

“…When I get older I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a wavin’ flag
So wave your flag, now wave your flag, now wave your flag…”
(Waving Flag by K’Naan)

If you watch the World Cup or not, you could not miss the anthem song, as it can be heard everywhere you go. 

If you were to compete or represent your family to the world, what colors would your flag be? What message would you want to give to your fans?

Find the pictures and words and put them on your flag to represent your family, your values and ideas, your mission and your wishes.

I would really love to see your flag! Post a picture or describe it in the comments below!

There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea. Henry James

Ever since the late 1700’s, tea time has been an integral part of English life. When people from other countries imagine life in England, they almost always picture the English sitting down at a table set with delicate china, socializing over hot cups of tea and little cakes.

But lately it’s more often drunk on the run or in front of the computer screen.

Make an afternoon tea time a tradition in your family too. Get together at the specific time every day to have a cup of tea (or lemonade or whatever drink you choose) and some cookies, cakes, pastry or fruit . Enjoy each other’s company. Discuss the day’s events and your plans. Listen to each other. And turn off your phone or TV.

You will notice that after some time family members become more aware of each other, they develop deeper bond and they feel really connected. The kids get their chance to share their stories and they see that the parents are really there for them, listening and appreciating their feelings and concerns.

I am sure you can work around your schedules to find some time to do it every day, but even if you can’t, at least try it during the holidays.

And don’t forget how much fun it can be to bake the cookies or cake. Maybe the kids can prepare some on their own. Try recipes at Joy of Baking

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.

Paulo Coelho

 
I don’t know why but today I remembered this little incident from several years ago and I want to share it with you.

Anja had a birthday and she invited some friends from the school. We planned to have a pool party but it was raining, so we decided to have a party in the house.

There were around 15 kids invited and they were playing just great. We had some games we prepared and just ate the cake. And when the party was coming to end I found some money lying on the floor. It was not small amount but rather large for the kid to carry around.

Read the rest of this entry »

The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken. Samuel Johnson

Once upon a time a mother and daughter who were working together in the kitchen preparing the Easter dinner.

They always worked together to make their special traditional family Easter meal. No matter what the mother was doing, it seemed that the daughter was always watching her intently. The mother could even feel her daughters big brown eyes on her without even turning to see if she was in the room. Yet she continued with her task of preparing the meal without even missing a beat or a blink.

Read the rest of this entry »

“Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other.” Edmund Burke

When we are teaching our children gratitude, it is important, that we are their role models. When they will see us do something, they will learn it better. It will no longer be just the theory that we preach but something that we actually do. And by the time they grow up, they would eventually do the same.

Include children in your activities, explaining them what you do to express gratitude.

Here are some activities that you can do together with your child (some on daily basis and some occasionally). 

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m sure your immediate answer would be: “Of course, I do.” But do you really? Or do you believe in him only at certain occasions, whenever it is appropriate. Do you trust that he will do something that he’s never done before? Or that he is capable of doing something you think he is too young to do? Or that he can judge the situation by himself?

Whether you have small child or a teenager, there are always some tasks that you may find unsuitable or dangerous for the child.

I had a conversation with a friend the other day about children’s help in the kitchen.

I let my children help in the kitchen and cook the meals, even if I had to throw away some ingredients or even if we sometimes ate overcooked spaghetti or too salty salad. I trusted them with the knives at quite early age. They started with the salads and progressed to cooking and baking. Now when I am not at home they are totally capable of preparing the meal for the whole family. I am not afraid that they will cut themselves or that they will burn the house. Of course we had some accidents, but, hey, that’s life.

But on the other hand, my friend said that her daughter would really love to help, but she doesn’t have the time to wait for her, because the girl is too slow. By the time the poor kid does something, my friend gets the whole meal ready.

And this whole conversation makes me think, how we sometimes sabbotage our children with our own limiting beliefs. We do the things instead of them, because they are too small, too slow, too weak… We prepare their clothes for next day, we pack their bags, we cut their meat, we serve them food, we drove them to school, we study with them…

Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail. Charles F. Kettering

But actually we are doing it because we don’t have time, patience or positive beliefs in our children. We often think, that they would not do it themselves as good as we do. Oh, and sometimes it is too dangerous. I know, sometimes really is, but often times we are just protecting ourselves from more work and worries.

What are you doing yourself that you are limiting your child? Is it really helping your child? What message are you delivering to your child? Is it that he is not capable, competent, nor trustworthy? Or do you believe in him and give him a chance to prove it? Think about it!