After years of begging, negotiations and tears I finally gave in and let the kids have a dog.

We »tried« with the bunnies before to see if the kids are mature and reponsible enough to even have an animal. And they more than proved they are. Of course there were some days when they needed to be reminded to feed them or clean their cage, but otherwise they were and still are taking good care of them.

The first puppy we chose died during the sterilisation operation. After the first shock and desperate children’ cry we started to look for another. We were so eager now to get a dog. Still determined to get one from the shelter, we browsed the internet and called around. With very little luck. When we found a dog we liked one was already taken. Then we found another and no one answered the phone. At the third attempt their attitude was really awful.

Why is this happening to us? Why are we having so much troubles? What does this mean?
As if they were all saying »We are not giving you the dog.«

We were so focused and determined to get that dog at any price. Right there and then. We were pushing and pushing and of course it was just like banging on the wall. We were not allowing the dog to come to us, we wanted it just the way we thought was the right way.

It suddenly became too much of everything. We stopped and relaxed. We just let it be. We decided to have a dog and sooner or later we would get one.

Then we found that perfect dog. It was literally waiting for us at the first shelter we looked. And this one is exactly what we wished for. Small, cute, sweet and friendly. She’s adopting to our family and our life style. It’s like we’ve always had a dog. The girls are taking really good care of her, giving her food, taking her for walks, grooming her and cleaning after her. They even set their alarm clocks to take her out in the night.

The lesson?

Of course it’s esential we know what we want. It’s the first step to getting it. But after that we need to relax. Let it happen. Wait for signs and signals for our inspired actions. Not something our logical mind is telling us, or something we think we should do, but acts that we are feeling deeply inside that are the right ones and that will take us closer to our goals.

If you’re having troubles in your life, are you solving them by pushing your own solutions? Are you determined to have it your way? Do you just know how it needs to be done? How it’s supposed to happen? Well, maybe your way is not the right way or at least not the only way? If it was you wouldn’t had that troubles, right?

We just need to let go. Get out of our own way and allow things to happen. Listen to our hearts. Follow our feelings. And expect the best.

I want to tell you about choices. Not the choices that we make and the consequences of them. But the choices we should be making. And most of all we should be teaching our kids about.

Those are choices about what we think, how we feel and how we react. Even though sometimes it doesn’t look like we have a choice, we always do. In every situation and every moment.

What we see and feel in a situation is all about us. About our own beliefs and our predefinitions. What we were taught to see and think. Do you remember my story about Tina’s birthday in the rain? We adults were thinking how bad it is. But the kids still had great time. See? It all depends on our choice. Choice of our thoughts and feelings.

And as true as you can see positive in every situation, you can also make positive choices in every situation. We are all too often telling our children what to see and how to act and behave instead of thaching them to make their own decisions. To think about the choices they have and the consequences of each. To finally choose one that looks good and feels best.

But how do we teach kids about choices? Like everything else – with small steps. At first tell them your set of choices they might have. »Do you want to take out trash bin now or after the dinner?« » Do you want to play with your friends outside or in your room?« »Do you want to wear blue or red sweater today?«…

Looks pretty simple but sometimes we are so focused on our way that we are missing the point.

You could also say:«Take out the trash bin! NOW!!« See the difference? And the final goal is that the trash bin is empty. Does it really make big diference if it is now or few hours later? Usually not. But you are making huge difference in your child’s life if you are allowing him to choose.

When your child has a choice, he thinks about his possibilities. He feels in control. He feels even more responsible, because it’s his own choice and his desicion.

In addition to offering your child few possibilities to choose from, ask him about his own ideas. »What would you do?« »When…?« »How..« »What do you think about…«

And of course you should teach (and show) your child that he has a choice with his words, feelings, actions and reactions…

In every situation he can choose the positive outcome. As well as he can choose to be happy.

We had an interesting conversation the other day about, I guess, the everlasting issue in the parenting – how to make your kids to clean up their rooms. You know, when you tell your kids to do it, they come up with all kind of excuses and arguments: »It’s too much to do, it will take so long…«

What I found out is that many parents, even if they are usually patient and understanding, are frustrated with this. And despite all good intentions and the »training«, the rooms seem to be always messed and cluttered.

One way to deal with it could definitely be, that you don’t put any attention to it. That you just leave your kids alone. If they want to live in the mess, let them. If they don’t have nothing ot wear, I don’t care. But I’m sure we can agree that is not really a solution. Or at least not our, »law of attraction« way, when we want to focus on the positive and teach kids with good examples, not the hard and dirty way.

Do you know what first step in Law of Attraction is? To ask in a very detailed and specific way.

Not just telling them to clean up their rooms. For the children it would mean the same as if someone asks you to build a house. It could be really overwhelming and scary. And it’s not specific. If you would be asked to build a house, what would your first (logical) reaction be? You would ask all kinds of questions – Where? How big? What style? How many bedrooms? With a terrace? Etc.

It’s the same with the rooms. When you say “clean up your room”, your child doesn’t really know what you mean.
There are two other important issues that you must take into consideration.

One is to ask yourself for your own motivation and underlying feelings. Sometimes we just snap to kids because we got frustrated with some other issues. We came home tired and nervous and the kids are easy target. Maybe their rooms are not that messed, but we just need to take some control and let our own frustrations go.

Do you often use their rooms for punishment? If your child doesn’t spend much time in his/her room or if he is usually playing or doing homework in other areas of the house, he might feel the task of cleaning the room as a punishment. That’s why you might offer your support or help, but I’m pretty sure they won’t need it. Sometimes it’s enough that you are around.

Another issue is that often our own perception of clean and order is totally different from our child’s. We are looking the world through our own lenses. And our children can have a completely different idea what their rooms should look like. Remember that there are different types of people. And they are learning and experiencing the world in different ways – some like to read and see materials,, while others rather hear about it and some would try it for themselves. They are called the visual, auditory or kinesthetic type. You child might have a different view on the world and you should organize (or let them organize) their environment to support these preferences.

If I go back to the »ask« part. Be specific and detailed. Split one overwhelming task to smaller tasks, to little steps. Determine the milestones (just as any planning process) and let them do one thing at a time. Encourage them with some rewards, when they reach those milestones – offer a snack, some play time…

Good idea is also to limit the time. The children can’t really evaluate that sometimes a simple task requires very little time. They are usually in a defensive mode, feeling that it will take forever. But in reality often the arguments last longer than the tasks themselves. Make it fun and make it short enough. You can say: »Empty your trash bin and it will take you 3 minutes (and I can even measure time, so yu’ll be sure that it’s true and you will know for the next time), then you can go back to your games.« It will give them some control over the task with definiteness and a reward at the end.

When I ask my girls to tidy their rooms, I let them choose what they will do, but I often set a time limit. »Let’s do it for 15 minutes and what’s done is done.« It’s working much better than when they have a lot of time and usually it’s more done than in hours. And the best part of it is,that they often beg for more time to finish the task:)

After you get through your first step (ask), the other two – to believe and to expect the realisation – should not be that difficult, right?

How do you cope with this issue? What are your ideas, techniques…? Please share below.

When I stepped into my daughter’s room all that I saw were papers on the floor, books scattered on the desk, bed unmade, crayons all around…

Luckily before I started to scream and yell at her I stopped and think. She knows that her room is her responsibility and even though I would love to have it clean and tidy, I decided not to intervene.

I rather though about other things she does around the house. That she just helped me with the dinner. And the day before she cleaned the windows in the living room. She cares really well for her bunnies.

When shifting my focus I was easily ignoring the mess in her room. It felt so much better to see positive things she does. Especially when I commented on her good work, she just lit up. So what do you think her room will be like in the future?

It could have been so easy to just yell. To pick on her for all the other things going on in my life.

Think about it! What kind of behavior are you focusing on? Do you see the positive or you are just looking for the negative? Do you see what someone did for you or do you see what he could do and didn’t? Or what you expected to be done and nobody read your mind? It is our choice. We choose which side we turn to. But the positive is always better. You just have to make the right decision.

To start, look around and see what you have. Notice the things that others have done, not just for you but for the family. Appreciate little things. Think about little steps you took. And finally identify the things that are all around us, but we all take them for granted. Feel the gratitude and raise your positive vibrations.

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You know, someone he looks up to. Someone he admires his characteristics, his attitude and his (super) powers. It can be a person, fantasy creature, movie or cartoon character or even an animal.

What is important is that he finds something good and noteworthy in him/it and he wants to possess the same qualities.

Encourage your kid to find his own role model or several of them. Too often we, the parents put down the power of the role models. When we say things like ”Don’t be silly, don’t act like that, you are not a superman.” we are actually putting down all the positive sides of that role model.

Instead you should help your kids to find a positive role model. By emphasising positive qualities and encouraging thinking like a super hero we are giving our kids the power to think outside the box. When the kid personifies his role model, he is adopting the thinking and behaving of that superhero.

If your kid doesn’t have a role model, maybe you can encourage finding one to the specific situations. When facing a problem, ask your kid who might help him. What qualities would he need to find the solution? Who might be best help him with the problem? You can offer several ideas, giving your kid time to think from different angles. Superman might solve the problem differently than Ben10 or Lion the King. And when playing and stepping in their shoes he might find the right solution.

Teach your kid to ask for help imaginary creatures when he faces challenges. He might ask for help someone that he think could help him, like Einstein for mathematical problems. Teach him to approach the problem from different positions by using the power of different models.

Of  course you should monitor that behaviour do not become violent, negative or event destructive, but as long as the kid is pretending to be someone better, stronger and smarter, you should support his play.

You might check out the workbook “50 Law of Attraction Games for Children” to help you with the role playing and finding the qualities your kid admires.

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There are so many positive effect of laughing, both physical and emotional, that you just can’t ignore!

Laughter relaxes the whole body and relieves physical tension and stress. It boosts the immune system by decreasing stress hormones and increasing immune cells. Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. And last but not least protects you from the heart diseases, because it improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow.

When laughing you can’t feel angry or sad. Humor helps you shift perspective. And you are so much more fun to be with.

Read more about the benefits of laughter at http://helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm

So why don’t you make it a laughter day?

• Laugh for no reason!
• Smile to strangers!
• Make fun of things and events! (Just be careful not to offend anyone!)

Watch how your laughing gets contagious and how it spreads all over the world.

You like this game? You might also like “50 Law of Attraction Games for Children”.

I remember I was always afraid of the snakes, even from my youngest days. In Slovenia snakes are quite rare and you are not very likely to meet one. But I somehow manage to see snakes where ever I go. Last time we were at the Kolpa river bathing and enjoying ourselves and suddenly there was a snake in front of me. I panicked and we immediately left the place. We then talked to a friend who lives near the river and he saw a snake once in his entire life. My husband said: “You must be attracting snakes, you are seeing them everywhere.” And at the time I didn’t think about it until someone said: ”It’s a good sign!” I got curious and searched the net and I only found really good and positive descriptions.

Snakes mean wisdom, healing, intuition, awaking of creative forces, ability to handle change without resistance, new opportunities for change, material vitality, intellect emotional control and increased sensitivity to the environment. Really great, isn’t? And now wherever I go I am looking for snakes eager to see one.

The only thing that changed in this story is my perspective, my point of view and my attitude.

When thinking of your family life and your children, what are your beliefs that limit your happiness? Are you afraid of something that never happens? Or are you holding yourself back because someone said something to you long time ago and you stick to “the truth”?

If there is an area in your family life that isn’t quite satisfactory and you have the feeling it could be better, first examine your attitude. Be honest and sincere. Are your thoughts and actions really positive and oriented toward the improvement of the situation? Or are you expecting bad outcome and you just “know” what will happen?

Remember, your thoughts are powerful magnets. You attract situations, some would even say, create ones that are in alignment with your dominant thoughts. How many times we say: “I knew this will happen!” Of course we knew, when we attracted it:)

“Whether You Think You Can or Can’t, You’re Right” (Henry Ford)

In most of the times it is only our attitude that makes all the difference. If we are expecting good outcome, we will get it, and when we are expecting something bad, we will get that too.

Think about your attitude towards family members. Are you expecting that your kids will talk back to you? Or that they will not do their homework? That they will get bad grade?

Think then about the message you are sending to your children. They are acting in the perfect harmony with your expectations. And instead being good students, they are expected to perform less than they are capable. Do you really want that?

Try to step outside your current situation and thinking and evaluate your thoughts. Ask other family members how they see your attitude and your support. Get your friends’ opinion about your family situation.

Decide what you want to change and start with little steps. Ask for the feedback and correct your attitude until it is in alignment with what you really want. After you take some positive action you will soon see positive responses and the family atmosphere will improve on other areas as well.

When we have our own kids, we want them to raise into responsible, accountable human beings, but very often parents limit the children’ power to express themselves and to take charge. We tell them what to do and how to do it. Some parents might argue that we are trying to protect them from the dangers of the world, but by doing so we are taking away their control and self-esteem. Parents need to learn to give the kids responsibility for their lives.

Here are few ways how you can do it from early years on.

When the kids are really small they depend on you and your care. But as soon as they can do something by their own, let them do it. Encourage their trying and efforts. Just like we are enthusiastic about walking, speaking and riding a bike, teach them other smaller tasks like dressing up, eating, putting away toys etc. with the same enthusiasm.

With older kids give them more responsibilities. Send them to the groceries by themselves. Trust them with money. Let them do the laundry. They can prepare some food. There are millions of things that kids can do if given a chance.

Of course at first they need some time to learn, but with some trying and encouragement they will get better and better. What is really important is that they learn to trust themselves, to never stop trying. They should learn not to be afraid of failing. And they should believe that they have your support even if they fail or do a mistake.

When your kids are getting even older, you can ask them about their opinions. Include them in family planning. Let them decide about things that are important to them, of course within the family limits. At some point my daughter decided to wear two different socks. And as silly as it looked to me, I let her do it. She felt understood and her decision appreciated and that is much more important than looking “right”. What you should learn is to respect their decisions even of you think they are silly or stupid. Intervene only if it is threatening to their or others lives.

By giving kids opportunities to do things by themselves they will learn important lessons of self-respect, being responsible and trust-worthy. By going from the young ages with little steps, increasing the tasks and responsibilities, you will also learn to trust your kid that he will more likely reach the right decision when necessary. You can’t expect from your kid, that you are always telling him what to do, to become responsible over night. It is a learning process for both parents and kids and it is much easier when it is performed gradually and over time.

Did you ever heard of Laughter (or Laughing) Yoga?

It is a combination of laughing and yoga breathing and it is based on the assumption that the body cannot differentiate between fake and real laughter, and that their physiological and psychological benefits are thus identical. People get together just to laugh, which is stimulated by eye staring and playfulness.

Ever noticed that the children are naturals for this? They make funny faces, quirky noises and peculiar moves and I’m sure your child would love to laugh along, if you make those.

So, when you have a few minutes, make your child ROFWL (roll on floor with laughter).

Did you like it? Please share your comments below!

You might also like other 49 ideas and activities in the “50 Law of Attraction Games for Children” workbook to help you teaching children while you play.

Remember how children could brag endlessly in front of their friends about what they have. It can be really annoying, but can you make a fun of it?

Get them list all the things they really have.

Help them see beyond material things (although they will probably start with them). Put on a list all their friends, things in their neighborhood and the environment (like fresh air, water, woods …). Don’t forget to mention their rights (like freedom, schooling…) and their feelings (towards themselves, other people and from others to them).

You can even make a competition, who can list more things.

Or go even further and find the pictures of everything listed to post somewhere as a reminder.

The game will show your kids that they already have lots of things that they can enjoy and be grateful for. They will also help them appreciate the NOW and to live in the moment.

Did you like the idea? Post your comments below!

Or check out other 49 ideas in the workbook “50 Law of Attaction Games for Children”.