The BEST Children Lessons

Posts Tagged ‘confidence’

My husband recently took a job to type and design the book for a colleague. He asked our daughter Anja to help him with the typing. And promising her to pay for her part of work made her quite excited about the job. She already made plans how she will spend the money.

Until… she chatted about it with her friends. And to my surprise they were not supporting at all.

“We are having holidays. Holidays are for fun, not work”.

“You are getting only 100 euros! It is not worth the effort.”

“So much work for so little money.”

I was literally shocked. Do the kids today really have everything and get everything without any effort? Is work really so little worth? Is 100 Euros really little money? How about the effort to earn her own money to spend it however she wants?

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Some kids are open and can make new friends quite easily where ever they go. And some are just nothing like that. They stick to their mothers and won’t move away for an inch. Their mothers usually say: “It is such a shy kid.” But in reality only part of this can be attributed to their nature. It’s also the result of their upbringing and circumstances.

Now at the beginning of new school year or going to the kindergarten for the first time, it can be quite challenging for some kids to be comfortable with new people.

Here are few tips how you can help your child to make new friends:

1. Examine your own thoughts, words and actions!

However strange it may sound, it all starts with you. How do you behave with strangers? What are you saying abut other people? How do you describe other kids? Are they adorable little creatures or those awful dirty screaming punks?

When you relate to others with negative words and even frightening your child, he will certainly feel insecure around new people. If they will be nice to him, he might even feel that he is betraying you if he is to return the kindness.

If you act reserved and going away from other people it’s great probability that your kid will act the same way.

2. Take it slow

Sometimes the kids are naturally shy and need some more time, even if you are very outspoken and open. In this case, keep your positive attitude, as it can help a lot. Approach other kids and communicate with them, making sure your kid see that it’s safe and that it’s ok to talk and play with them.

Encourage interactions with other people but don’t push your kid to make friends. He might need some more time. Allow him enough time and space to get comfortable with others. Maybe you can invite some families over your house for some ice-cream or lemonade. It will be much easier for your kid dealing with strangers in  familiar environment.

3. Keep it safe!

Even though most people are nice and friendly, there are some who are not. Let your kid know about dangers and how to react when faced with them. It is important not to scare or even threaten your kid. Explain differnet, possibly hazardous situations in simple and neutral terms.

How do you help your child when meeting new people and making new friends? Please share your thoughts and comme

I was lying the other day on the beach and there were many families with kids around me. As usual I was observing how the parents treat children and how the kids behave.

What really bothered me that day was that some parents were treating their kids as they were little babies even when they were already 4, 6 or even more years old.

Are you doing the same mistake? Do you always stand behind your kid and follow each step? Are you yelling: “Dress up, you will catch cold?” or “Don’t go there, you will fall!” or even “You already ate one ice-cream today, you might get ill if you eat more!”. And then there were parents who were dressing and undressing the kids. Running after them with sandwiches. Going with them to the ice-cream parlor just few steps away. Or have them wear shoes all the time.

By over-protecting your kid you are doing great damage to his self-esteem and his self-worth. You are taking away his power to do the things his way and to learn by doing. And you are depriving him of some great experiences.
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Picture yourself vividly as winning, and that alone will contribute immeasurably to success.

Harry Emerson Fosdick

I was working in our garden the other day and Tina was jumping and running around. The weeds were overgrowing our grass and I was thinking how our lives are much like the garden. You have to nurture it and constantly removing the weeds (negative thoughts), that are coming from our environment (neighbours, or even from air..lol).

But then when I stretched my back, I got alert to Tina’s playing. She was kicking the ball and trying to hit the goal. After some time watching, I realized she is pretending to be two teams playing against each other. “They” all ran around, hitting and kicking the ball, trying to score the goal. And the result was really tight all the time. But at the end of the game of course that Tina won and she was jumping around doing deep bows. It was really fun to watch.

I realized how kids are confident about themselves and how they think of themselves as invincible. They always win in their games. When do we loose this feeling of being the best? How come that we allow our fears and negative beliefs to overcome our winning attitude? We let the weeds overgrow our flowers?

And it happens that the same night we watched “Slovenia’s got Talent” (oh, yes, we have that one too). The winner was little 7-year old Lina. She really has beautiful voice and she is a little princess. But what I noticed the most was how easily she performed, not affected by all the buzz and fuzz around the competition. She was cute and sweet but she was doing what she loves doing most and she was also very confident and mature.

And I thought:
That’s what we owe to the children, to keep their confidence, self-esteem and faith untouched.

Think about it! Are you supporting or limiting your child? How do you do it?

I would really love to hear your ideas and opinions, so leave the comment below.