Do you remember how excited you were when you gave your mother a small gift, made all by yourself? A simple flower? And how your mother was proud of you? It was all about the attention, affection and sharing the love.

I remember when I was in 3rd or 4th grade. It was the last day of school and I didn’t have a present for the teacher. I pannicked but my father cut a big branch full of dark red cherries from the tree behing our house. The kids at school laughed at me, but the teacher loved my gift. I learned at very young age it’s not the price of the gift that matters. In fact this is one of the fondest memories I have about the school.

I was reminded about this the other evening, when I got a phone call. A man ordered a package of CD’s with BrainWave Entrainment (for more on BWE go to www.geniusbrainpower.com) for his mother, but he didn’t like them. Not because they didn’t play music or they didn’t help her, but because they looked ugly to him. He wanted to give his mother a shiny beautiful present. He returned the CD’s, I gave him money back, but it got me thinking.

When we grow up, is the price the main criterion? And do we choose our gifts by the size and how they glitter?

As if we are saying: »Look, mom, I’m all grown up now. I am doing great. Look how much money I make and what I can buy for you. I’m somebody now and I can afford to buy you present.« Unfortunately it’s only us that value and compare ourselves by the size of the package.

As if mothers care for that. They don’t, I can assure you. Every mother, no matter how young or old her kids are, and no matter how old she is, appreciate the gift because of the consideration, the intention, the knowing that someone made effort, though about us, ponder what is important… It’s the thought that counts.

And I think we all should never forget the value of a true gift, given from the heart.

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After years of begging, negotiations and tears I finally gave in and let the kids have a dog.

We »tried« with the bunnies before to see if the kids are mature and reponsible enough to even have an animal. And they more than proved they are. Of course there were some days when they needed to be reminded to feed them or clean their cage, but otherwise they were and still are taking good care of them.

The first puppy we chose died during the sterilisation operation. After the first shock and desperate children’ cry we started to look for another. We were so eager now to get a dog. Still determined to get one from the shelter, we browsed the internet and called around. With very little luck. When we found a dog we liked one was already taken. Then we found another and no one answered the phone. At the third attempt their attitude was really awful.

Why is this happening to us? Why are we having so much troubles? What does this mean?
As if they were all saying »We are not giving you the dog.«

We were so focused and determined to get that dog at any price. Right there and then. We were pushing and pushing and of course it was just like banging on the wall. We were not allowing the dog to come to us, we wanted it just the way we thought was the right way.

It suddenly became too much of everything. We stopped and relaxed. We just let it be. We decided to have a dog and sooner or later we would get one.

Then we found that perfect dog. It was literally waiting for us at the first shelter we looked. And this one is exactly what we wished for. Small, cute, sweet and friendly. She’s adopting to our family and our life style. It’s like we’ve always had a dog. The girls are taking really good care of her, giving her food, taking her for walks, grooming her and cleaning after her. They even set their alarm clocks to take her out in the night.

The lesson?

Of course it’s esential we know what we want. It’s the first step to getting it. But after that we need to relax. Let it happen. Wait for signs and signals for our inspired actions. Not something our logical mind is telling us, or something we think we should do, but acts that we are feeling deeply inside that are the right ones and that will take us closer to our goals.

If you’re having troubles in your life, are you solving them by pushing your own solutions? Are you determined to have it your way? Do you just know how it needs to be done? How it’s supposed to happen? Well, maybe your way is not the right way or at least not the only way? If it was you wouldn’t had that troubles, right?

We just need to let go. Get out of our own way and allow things to happen. Listen to our hearts. Follow our feelings. And expect the best.

We had an interesting conversation the other day about, I guess, the everlasting issue in the parenting – how to make your kids to clean up their rooms. You know, when you tell your kids to do it, they come up with all kind of excuses and arguments: »It’s too much to do, it will take so long…«

What I found out is that many parents, even if they are usually patient and understanding, are frustrated with this. And despite all good intentions and the »training«, the rooms seem to be always messed and cluttered.

One way to deal with it could definitely be, that you don’t put any attention to it. That you just leave your kids alone. If they want to live in the mess, let them. If they don’t have nothing ot wear, I don’t care. But I’m sure we can agree that is not really a solution. Or at least not our, »law of attraction« way, when we want to focus on the positive and teach kids with good examples, not the hard and dirty way.

Do you know what first step in Law of Attraction is? To ask in a very detailed and specific way.

Not just telling them to clean up their rooms. For the children it would mean the same as if someone asks you to build a house. It could be really overwhelming and scary. And it’s not specific. If you would be asked to build a house, what would your first (logical) reaction be? You would ask all kinds of questions – Where? How big? What style? How many bedrooms? With a terrace? Etc.

It’s the same with the rooms. When you say “clean up your room”, your child doesn’t really know what you mean.
There are two other important issues that you must take into consideration.

One is to ask yourself for your own motivation and underlying feelings. Sometimes we just snap to kids because we got frustrated with some other issues. We came home tired and nervous and the kids are easy target. Maybe their rooms are not that messed, but we just need to take some control and let our own frustrations go.

Do you often use their rooms for punishment? If your child doesn’t spend much time in his/her room or if he is usually playing or doing homework in other areas of the house, he might feel the task of cleaning the room as a punishment. That’s why you might offer your support or help, but I’m pretty sure they won’t need it. Sometimes it’s enough that you are around.

Another issue is that often our own perception of clean and order is totally different from our child’s. We are looking the world through our own lenses. And our children can have a completely different idea what their rooms should look like. Remember that there are different types of people. And they are learning and experiencing the world in different ways – some like to read and see materials,, while others rather hear about it and some would try it for themselves. They are called the visual, auditory or kinesthetic type. You child might have a different view on the world and you should organize (or let them organize) their environment to support these preferences.

If I go back to the »ask« part. Be specific and detailed. Split one overwhelming task to smaller tasks, to little steps. Determine the milestones (just as any planning process) and let them do one thing at a time. Encourage them with some rewards, when they reach those milestones – offer a snack, some play time…

Good idea is also to limit the time. The children can’t really evaluate that sometimes a simple task requires very little time. They are usually in a defensive mode, feeling that it will take forever. But in reality often the arguments last longer than the tasks themselves. Make it fun and make it short enough. You can say: »Empty your trash bin and it will take you 3 minutes (and I can even measure time, so yu’ll be sure that it’s true and you will know for the next time), then you can go back to your games.« It will give them some control over the task with definiteness and a reward at the end.

When I ask my girls to tidy their rooms, I let them choose what they will do, but I often set a time limit. »Let’s do it for 15 minutes and what’s done is done.« It’s working much better than when they have a lot of time and usually it’s more done than in hours. And the best part of it is,that they often beg for more time to finish the task:)

After you get through your first step (ask), the other two – to believe and to expect the realisation – should not be that difficult, right?

How do you cope with this issue? What are your ideas, techniques…? Please share below.

If you are anything like me, and you have kids, that attend millions of activities, the majority of your time you spend driving kids back and forth and wasting time in between.

It requires not only great organizational skills and being very flexible, not to say available, but think about all the time you spend waiting.

Although it’s great sometimes to meet other mums and go for a cup of coffee, doing it on a daily basis is great time-waster.

When Anja has a competition, for me it means waking up in the early morning hours, driving to the venue and back home in the evening. I literally have whole day off. Although she doesn’t really need me there by her side, I spend the day at the pool, just in case… I often used to bring laptop computer with me, but I rarely even open it, let alone that I would really work. And I felt bad for not doing the things…

Living in these busy times it is necessary to organize and prioritize things in-between. But it does not mean you need to go running around and doing things you have to do. Of course you can do some errands or go shopping, but why don’t you just take some time off.

While you wait you can read good book, that you wanted to read for some time, you can listen to motivational audio book or meditation, you can go for a walk. Think about your dreams, your goals, your plans… You can even write your gratitude journal, sitting in the car or in the park.

You can start attending yoga or aerobics class if it’s somewhere near. Or go to the fitness club. Even half an hour is better than nothing.

Choose to spend some time by yourself, daydreaming, relaxing and recharging.

Of course that errands and other “must do” things will wait for you, but you’ll be relaxed, calm and with more energy to finish them. You’ll also have many new ideas that you can implement in your home, family or at your work. You’ll be more aligned with your inner self and you’ll be excited about your new perspective.

Now think about your waiting time. How do you spend it? Can you combine some errands and paths? Can you expand your waiting time to make space for your classes? What things can you do to lift you up but require little time? What things would you like to do, but you keep putting them off just because you are so busy – waiting?

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I often write and talk about the time we spend with our children. And how we should set aside as much time as possible to be with kids and enjoy quality time together. And it is important! But what about your time? Do you spend enough time with yourself?

Look at your typical day. If you are anything like me, your day is filled with errands, house-keeping (well, at least I don’t do the cleaning), driving the kids around from one activity to another, doing business… And if that’s not enough Anja has competitions on Saturdays and Tina is having her riding lessons on Sundays.

We, the parents are so busy and overwhelmed with the things we have to do and they just can’t wait.

But do you sacrifice your time for it? Are the needs of others always before yours? And do you feel guilty if you let your family members to be on their own?

I know I did. I often refused an invitation from friends to go out just because I felt I have to put my kids to bed or help them with their homework or prepare them dinner. And going on a regular aerobics classes was out of the question. Let alone going somewhere for few days. This silent voice inside me was saying “what kind of mother are you to leave your kids alone”. There was always something more I could do and assist my kids with.

But then I got more and more unsatisfied with myself. I gain some weight. I was always very active and now I wasn’t fit anymore. Kids needed me less (now they are really happy not to have me around sometimes). And I realized it was a huge mistake. Well I still spend a lot of time with my kids and doing things for my kids, but…

There is nothing wrong going out with your friends. It is OK to spend some time with yourself. In fact you should do it. You need to be alone sometimes. You need to have your circle of friends outside your family. You should follow your own passions and desires.

Now think about this – when you are happy and satisfied, how will you feel? And how will you make your children and spouse feel? It’s a perfect example of Law of Attraction. When you feel good about yourself, you vibrate at higher level and you attract good things in your life. Isn’t that much better than always nagging and being grumpy? Because of the law, you then get more of that into your life. Which one would you prefer?

And there is another thing: kids so much look at the parents that have their own interests. They really don’t appreciate if you are on their heads all the time. Can you imagine your child when he describes his mother? Would he say: “oh, my mum stays at home, cooks and take care of me.” Not that this is something bad, of course. We all do that:) How about this: “My mum loves herself and she goes to the gym every night.” Or “My mum is in the bowling club and last time she won!”

Do you see the difference? Kids don’t think being a housekeeper and waiting at home to make their wishes come true is something special. They see it as your everyday “job”. But doing something interesting, that you are excited about, is totally different. It is fun, it is intriguing and it is something they can talk about.

But how do you do it?

First, think about how you spend your time. Do you devote your entire day to others? Do you have any time for yourself? Analyze your day and discover void time slots and time-consumers.

Make decision in your mind. You need some time for yourself to feel good. You need to be doing something that you really like (besides your family). But it all starts with your thoughts.

To begin, set aside few minutes every day. Think, when it would be the best time to do it. It could be in the morning, before everybody wakes up. It could be in the evening. Or maybe sometime between all the kids’ activities. Gradually increase the time.

Plan your time as an appointment and let everyone know that it’s not negotiable. Stick to your plan and don’t allow anyone to change that.

Share your passion with family. Talk about your time spent without them. What did you do? Where have you been? Let them see your enthusiasm and your newly found optimism.

Feel good about it. Don’t let guilt stop you from doing it. You deserve some free time and you deserve to spend it however you choose.

And most of all, enjoy it!

How do you spend your “me” time? Please share your thoughts and comments below.

Today is a holiday in Slovenia – All Saints Day and family and friends get together to remember friends and family members who have died. We went to the cemetery to light some candles for our ancestors and friends. And walking past the graves Tina said: “Mummy, when you die, I will build the largest and most beautiful monument on your grave.”

But I don’t want others to remember me because of the biggest tombstone, I want to be remembered by the things I did and by the moments we share when I am alive.

Think about this - how would you like to be remembered? What things would you tell your children and family if today was your last day? Where would you take them? What would you show them? What would you do?

I admit I don’t like this holiday, I don’t like going to the cemeteries, but it’s a great reminder that our lives will pass too and that it’s every alive moment that really counts.

Now, why don’t you tell your loved ones how much you love them and how much you care, how proud you are and how happy to be with them?

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This last weekend I spent at the golf tournament. I don’t play golf yet, but I decided I will sometime soon (like next spring). My husband was photographing the event and we were driving around in the golf car. It was so much fun:)

Once, we stopped to wait for the players to hit their balls and I was observing their decisions. They were standing at one side of the small pond, while the hole was on the other side. And they were pondering the length, which clubs to take, how to hit…

But the distance was quite large and I was calculating:”If I would be playing… if I hit hard, it might not be enough and the ball might end in the pond, but if I play safe, the ball would stay on this side of the pond and I would need to hit again, losing points.”

And then it stroke me. It’s just like our decisions in life.

Think about it! How would you play? Would you play safe or would you go for it no matter what? Would you rather go slow or give everything and risk losing something?

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This weekend we had the worst weather possible. It was raining and many rivers flooded so at the end of the weekend they evacuated several hundred people, few died, schools are closed… It was just horrible, seeing so many houses under water, roads and bridges ruined…

Luckily we live far enough from the rivers and flooding areas, so our house is safe, but the water got into our oil tank, so we have no heating (which we don’t need yet) and warm water. Which is nothing compared to some other people, but it is something we need to take care of.

So when after few days of no TV, no internet, no phone, no warm water, we (especially girls) finally decided that we need to wash our hairs, it became a major project. I heated the water on the stove several times, as we don’t have large enough pots. The girls have fun, they couldn’t imagine how this way was quite normal some years (decades) ago. A surprise came from Tina: ” Wow, we are really spending so much water.”

And the lesson?

I guess they never imagined the quantity of the water we really spend for washing and cleaning, because it is drained down the sink, so they never see all of it. I sure hope that they will become more aware of the water waste. 

I learned my lesson as well. I often talked to them about saving the water. But I guess they never really understood that it can be a serious problem. For them it was something that is always there when you open the tap. So…never assume that someone can imagine something when he or she never saw it or the images could be completely different. I need to take time to explain more and show more, so they see, hear, feel and only then understand things.

So, how are you making sure, that your kids understand what you are saying? Please comment below.

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When I stepped into my daughter’s room all that I saw were papers on the floor, books scattered on the desk, bed unmade, crayons all around…

Luckily before I started to scream and yell at her I stopped and think. She knows that her room is her responsibility and even though I would love to have it clean and tidy, I decided not to intervene.

I rather though about other things she does around the house. That she just helped me with the dinner. And the day before she cleaned the windows in the living room. She cares really well for her bunnies.

When shifting my focus I was easily ignoring the mess in her room. It felt so much better to see positive things she does. Especially when I commented on her good work, she just lit up. So what do you think her room will be like in the future?

It could have been so easy to just yell. To pick on her for all the other things going on in my life.

Think about it! What kind of behavior are you focusing on? Do you see the positive or you are just looking for the negative? Do you see what someone did for you or do you see what he could do and didn’t? Or what you expected to be done and nobody read your mind? It is our choice. We choose which side we turn to. But the positive is always better. You just have to make the right decision.

To start, look around and see what you have. Notice the things that others have done, not just for you but for the family. Appreciate little things. Think about little steps you took. And finally identify the things that are all around us, but we all take them for granted. Feel the gratitude and raise your positive vibrations.

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What are the most important lessons that our kids teach us?

I am sure we all can say that our lives changed with the kids. And not only that, I am sure that in many areas it changed for the better. I know there can be some troubles as well, but I hope those are rare in your life.

Here are 3 most important lessons I learned from my kids:

Time is NOT money.
They appreciate your time and your involvement much more than your money. You cannot trade your time with the money. And you cannot buy your time with the money. Or even buy someone else’s time. Of course the kids are asking for the things, they want everything they see and what others have, but they can easily live without. But at the end it’s your investment of time that is invaluable.

Live in the NOW.
Who cares for tomorrow, let’s play now. The kids don’t think of the past nor do they worry about their future. They need the attention and love at the present time. They only want to enjoy every minute, every second of the present and they want your attention at that time, not sometimes later. They don’t find excuses for not to play, the weather is always fine and the house is always clean enough.

Everything can wait, but us.
Kids grow every day and you don’t want to miss one single precious moment. All other things can wait – errands, meetings, phone calls, TV shows, investment opportunities… There might be lost at the time, but there might be another out there waiting for you. The kids will not wait, they will never be that young again.

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