Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.
Richard L. Evans
The idea of helping others and giving is old as a world or at least since we, the human race exists. But ever since the book “Pay It Forward” by Catherine Ryan Hide, followed by the movie, back in early 2000, the real-life reaction and social movement begun. The individuals, schools and media come out with different resources and programs to promote the idea, that one small act of kindness by one individual can make huge impact on other people’s lives and the world we live in.
Acts of kindness (or paying it forward) are simple, small, selfless acts such as helping someone struggling with their shopping; passing someone your unexpired parking ticket; buying a homeless person lunch; feeding a parking meter that has run out; mowing your neighbours front lawn when they are out; paying the toll for the car behind you; buying someone a coffee for the next person at the drive-in.. to name just a few.
Of course, some of the mentioned above are not exactly appropriate for our children. But still, to give you an idea, here are some acts of kindnes, that you can help your child to preform:
- write a thank you note to someone (a teacher, parents, friends..)
- help with the homework or studying someone in his class, that has learning dificulties
- carry out shopping bags or return a trolley in an isle
- pick up the flowers and deliver them to the neighbors
- put encouraging notes at the windshields
- feed an animal
- donate blankets to animal shelter
- give your toys for the orphanage or any other child organization
- plant a tree or flowers
- pick up a trash
- hug someone
- smile…
Here is how you can help your child:
Help him to pay attention and to observe the world around him to see opportunities to help someone.
Let him look around and think about what others might need. It’s not that they can’t live without, but to brighten their day and to ease their life. Let him find at least one possible act for each friend, neighbor, family member. It’s not necesary to carry out everything, but to start the conversationa and thinking.
Teach him to find the ways to do something good to others.
Every person is different and sometimes it can happen that the person he want to help really doesn’t want any help. Don’t let him be frightened, discuss different options and possibilities how he can aproach people or how the acts can be made without even confronting other people (like leaving a flower at the door). Show him different ways so he doesn’t get discouraged.
Show you child that in order to create a difference he doesn’t need a lot of money.
Inspire your child to come up with ideas that doesn’t need any money. There are millions of opportunities that are free but can make a huge impact. Smiles are free, thank you’s are free… Some ideas require some work, of course, or sometimes they need to give something away (like toy or clothes), but what is really important is not the price of that but the act itself and that’s what you are promoting.
Let him do something nice to a stranger or someone he doesn’t know very well.
Sometimes kids are shy and they don’t feel comfortable with the strangers. Of course, there are situations that they should be afraid, and you should discuss all the perils and risks with your child, but try not to go overboard and scare the little kid too much. Help the children to see good in everyone and that they can be nice to strangers as well. In this way, they will gain more confidence and self-esteem.
Remind the child that he should not expect something in return.
Sometimes children expect a reward. But sometimes people he helps doesn’t even want his help. And sometimes they will not be grateful at all, but that’s their problem. Explain to the child, that their own feeling of satisfaction and helping someone is his prize. He is doing it ultimately for himself, to feel good and proud of his actions and words.
Help your child to pay attention to acts of kindness done to him.
By exploring different deeds that he can perform, your child can become more aware of the acts, that were done to him. Support and encourage his observations, discuss different situations, acts and his reactions. He will become more alert to other people’s small acts and maybe he can even get the idea for his next at of kindness.
If your child is very competitive, you can set a goal and see how fast he can reach that number of random acts. Create a chart and note down every act of kindness. You can even track the kind of acts he performs, so you have some influence at what he’s doing if needed. Encourage difference and originality.
And as I always say, have fun!
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