When we see the headlines in newspapers and magazines or read the articles on the internet, we are often times forced to believe that success is over-night thing. The models and actors are found on the streets, writers and musicians miraculously hit #1 on the charts. And businesses earn millions instantly, with one product.

Even in biographies, the persons and their endevours are described shortly, with one sentence, and with words, that imply quick and easy shift.

But in reality the path to success often takes several, even tens of years, demanding much effort, overcoming many obstacles and sufferings.

You’ve probably heard of Edison’s 10.000 attempts. Colonel Sanders opened his first KFC in age of 62 after years of trying and perfecting his recipe. Famous book Chicken Soup for Soul was rejected 140 times before published. Twitter was growing in the mind of its inventor for almost 20 years. And you’ve probably heard the story of Steve Jobs.

It’s not so much about magical over-night change, but continuous day-to-day effort to reach the dreams.

It’s the same with parenting.

‎”Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.” – Catherine M. Wallace

It requires constant, continous, daily work. It’s small steps, sometimes minutes, that count. But as long as you keep moving, you can expect to reach your destination.

It can not be made with one huge shift. There is no quick fix for the problems. Nor can you expect to change one day and the world around will change. Rather than looking for quick solutions, devote each day time and effort to improve a tiny bit.

By building the strong foundation, not card towers, you can expect your family to be strong. With little actions you are creating the lasting change and laying a stepping stones for future success of your children.

Start small.

Keep going!

Expect miracles!

If you need help with determining your family vision and goals and keeping on the right path, I can help. Just send me an email and ask for introductory session, where we will set your dreams in motion.

Or join us in the DREAM LIFE CREATION CLUB for monthly inspiration and motivation. And it’s free!

This year I already attended two funerals, both of family friends in their 60′s. Although both suffered heavy illnesses for some time, it was still very sad. But very eye-opening. It got me thinking about important things in our lives.

One of the funerals was especially touching. I think I never saw so many people attending before.

After the ceremony at the cemetery we were invited to lunch, together with some 100 others. And all of them was talking about deceased. How he helped them at one point of their lives or another, one way or the other. How often times he didn’t asked for payment or anything in return. How he was always prepared to offer helping hand. How he was always ready to have fun.

And obviously this is why our lives are worth living. To enjoy.  To have great time with friends and family. To help and support each other. To offer help to strangers without expecting anything in return. To leave our mark on their lives.

That’s what is really important. Not how much money you have. Or how great car you are driving. Or how big your house is. Not even how important is your position in the company.

What really counts is how you affect other people. How you treat them. How much time you spend with them. How you made them feel.

We all say that family is the most important thing in our lives. But are we really spending our time and energy according to that? Or do we just say it, but take it for granted?

• Think about your time, your efforts, your input… do they reflect your values?
• Are you spending your time with kids and spouse?
• Do you find time for friends?

Here is what you can do:

• Commit to spend more time with your loved ones.
• Plan your time to be with them.
• Reconnect with lost friends.
• Make new friends.
• Smile to a stranger.
• Pay it forward.

I know you want to be happy. I know you want your kids to be happy. And prosperous. And successful.

But wishing is just not enough.

I’m sure you want to do something that you really need to do for a long time. Like loose weight, stop smoking or something like that. We usually call those goals RESOLUTIONS and we are really good at making them around New Year.

“Next year I will exercise more.”
“I’ll start the diet next year.”

You know what I mean. We’ve all been there.

But do you know why those resolutions don’t work? Because they are not your own:) Well, you can argue that you made them yourself, you put your mind to it, but in reality you are doing it to please someone else or you are doing it for all the wrong reasons. Or you think you should just because…

They are coming from your “outside”.

The vision is coming from your inside, it reflects your inner wishes and desires. It is an answer to your WHY.

You might say: “What is this got to do with family life? We have so much obligations. We don’t have time!”

It’s true! I agree with you. We really have no time. And exactly that’s why we don’t want to waste it on something that’s not important and has no value for us.

Ask yourself: “Do I have a vision for my family? Is my time allocation showing my priorities? Do I make the time for the most important people in my life?”

Here are few ideas where to start:

Ask yourself what you want.

• What you REALLY REALLY want?
• How would you spend your ideal day?
• With whom?
• What you would be doing?

Forget about others, just write down what feels great for you! Where would you want to be in few years? What kind of life would you lead?

Now look around and pick 3 things that “pop into your eyes” (meaning you get attracted to them). What do they tell you? Why you picked them? What do they mean to you? What memories, emotions, feelings, thoughts… they bring? Find the common theme for them and see how it fits into your life.

Now you’ll probably have a great idea what you really want deep down inside.

Plan your goals and actions to get there!

If you need help, you can always ask for a VISION CARD reading. Just send me an email and schedule the meeting (via Skype).

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others,
It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important,
Only you know what is best for you.

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart
Cling to that as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect,
It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks,
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.

The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tightly,
And the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don’t dismiss your Dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope.
To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don’t run through life so fast that you forget where you’ve been,
But also know where you’re going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored every step of the way.

No matter how much I love Christmas spirit, decorating, baking and Christmas songs, I HATE shopping. I just hate all this nervousness, craziness and over-spending. I see distressed parents trying to buy as much as possible from their kids’ wish list or even more. Or something different as long as it looks BIG. And at the end they are all in a bad mood when it’s time for paying it, not to mention days or month later, when the credit card bill is due.

It doesn’t have to be that way!

I still remember my younger days when we got something we really needed – new wardrobe, new shoes, maybe set of skis, skates… But today our kids have almost everything they need. We are usually not saving to get them what they want for that special occasions, we buy them stuff at the very same moment they express the need (or we see it). Just because we can. Of course there is always something new they want, and often times if we feel they don’t really need it, it ends in the letter to Santa.

But ask yourself – why in the world would we want to get them this item if we think they don’t need it?

• we want to show them how much we love them
• we want to show our kids that we would do anything for them
• we want to show them we can afford it (even if in reality we can’t, we just want to look good in our children’s eyes)
• we want to feel appreciated
• we want something in return (I appreciated your wishes, now it’s time for you to do the same)
• and so on and on…

Everything for the wrong reasons, wouldn’t you agree?

So instead of getting nervous and anxious, show your love and appreciation in inexpensive, but more valuable ways. We don’t need to break the bank or loose our sanity. Here are some ideas what you can do instead:

Devote some extra special time to be with your child. Go for a walk, go skating, play board games, read the book, compete in computer games… Create coupons and give them to child so he can use them whenever he feels.

Give gifts that connect your child with family and/or friends. Buy him tickets to the cinema, admissions to amusement parks or museums, organize him a party….

Listen and understand what your child really wants. If it’s a new toy, that he wants just because everyone else is having, maybe he needs more appreciation, higher self-esteem… so be careful about his Why? and choose the activities that support that.

Look for ways where you can give a little but your child gets a lot. This can include a charity work or donation, creating gifts for others, delivering secret notes… For example we bought a really big bone for our dog and girls just can’t wait to see the dog’s reaction to the gift. The excitement about giving and anticipation is more important than expensive toy that will soon end up forgotten in their rooms.

Promote spirit of Christmas instead focusing on the gifts. I know every child is excited to get his gift under the tree, but Christmas is so much more. It’s the atmosphere, the cards, the ornaments, baking and cooking… all these can be done with your kids and I’m sure they will remember these more than anything.

What are your ideas of spending the holiday season in inexpensive but meaningful ways? Please share below.

Related articles

• Inexpensive Gift Ideas For Christmas (tfollowers.com)
• Survey: Parents spend average of $271 per child on gifts (moms.today.msnbc.msn.com)
• Christmas Time (socyberty.com)

OK, I admit, I am not a huge fan of shopping any other day, let alone in December. People buying things they don’t really need; giving just for the sake of doing it; over-eating, over-drinking and over-partying… All the fuss and craziness, crowds and hysteria in shopping malls…

Don’t get me wrong. I love giving. I love meeting people. I love parties. Just not on command, because “it’s that time of the year”.

Here are some shocking facts about waste produced over Christmas:

Christmas tree lights left on for 10 hours a day over the 12 days of Christmas produce enough carbon dioxide alone to inflate 12 balloons.

Over 40% of festive food is wasted. Turkey foil alone will create 3,000 tons of waste.

The waste created in Britain over Christmas is equivalent to 400,000 doubledecker buses, stretching all the way from London to New York City!

3 million tonnes of waste is dumped during Christmas in the UK – enough to fill 120 million wheelie bins. You can also add to that 125,000 tons of plastic packaging.

Within three months, 41 per cent of the toys children receive will be broken.

More than a billion Christmas cards are likely to be dumped or burnt – which, laid end to end, would stretch around the world five times.

2.65 billion Christmas cards are sold each year in the United States, that could fill a football field 10 stories high. If  each American sent one card less, 50,000 cubic yards of paper can be saved ( Use Less Stuff ). Every year 200,000 trees will be cut down to make holiday cards.

Wrapping paper and shopping bags account for about 4 million tons of trash each year in the U.S. It is estimated that if every American family wrapped just three presents in reused materials, it would save enough paper to cover 45,000 football fields

And not to mention that you are actually wasting your money:)

It is predicted Australians will part with about $25 billion in the coming month.

A survey conducted by the Australian National Retailers Association shows an average person will part with just over $1,000.

21% of people (surveyed in UK) will borrow from one source or another to pay for the presents they will buy.

National Retail Federation (NRF) is forecasting overall holiday retail sales to grow during the months of November and December to $465.6 billion.

So let’s make this Christmas meaningful, let’s create our own gifts, let’s give something we don’t need….

Follow my blog for tips and ideas how to save your money and still have fun:)

Sources:

http://files.recycleworks.co.uk/files/Festive%20Facts!.pdf

http://1st-ecofriendlyplanet.com/12/christmas-waste/

http://www.marketingcharts.com/direct/holiday-spending-forecasts-chilly-19430/gallup-xmas-spend-oct-2011jpg/

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• Holiday Shopping on a Budget: Ho, Ho, Whoa! Christmas in Tight Times (savings.com)
• What Christmas is All About (alwaysbcmom.com)
• What Happened to Christmas? (rosarants.wordpress.com)
• The True Meaning of Christmas (danetling.wordpress.com)

There is not a more pleasing exercise of the mind than gratitude. It is accompanied with such an inward satisfaction that the duty is sufficiently rewarded by the performance. Joseph Addison

The appreciation, gratitude and love are the highest forms of vibration. As more of our thoughts and words become positive, we start attracting more and more positive people and circumstances.

When we express our gratitude, we focus on the positive and we just can’t focus on negative at the same time.

We often go through our lives wanting more and more of the things. We wish to have a new car, new TV, phone, new love, better job, better grades… and sometimes we forget what we already have and achieved.

It is even more difficult for the children to see and acknowledge their positive characteristics and possessions. They may not be aware how giant their achievements have been and what kind of persistence and courage it took to be what they are now. Help them recognize that they too have a lot to be thankful for.

Remember, only by acknowledging and accepting what we have, we can have more.

Focus today, no matter what is happening in your life, on the here and now. Be grateful for what you do have and be grateful you are growing toward where you want to be.

Grace isn’t a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It’s a way to live.
Jacqueline Winspear

Create a family tradition and every night before going to sleep spend some time together as a family thinking of things you are grateful for.

Make it a family habit and include gratitude in your everyday lives. Include different gratitude activities in your family time.

Think about the things you possess both material and non-material. Think about people you met. Think also about challenges that you need to overcome; they are usually blessings in disguise.

At difficult times we might think that we have nothing to be grateful for or we find it difficult to feel the gratitude. But in those days when we feel it least it is most important to remind ourselves of all the good things in our lives.

When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
G.K. Chesterton

It is important that we understand that our current experiences are guideposts showing us that we are either on the right path of creating our desired outcomes or that we need to make some adjustments.

Develop the attitude of gratitude and give thanks to others. Tell them you appreciate what they do and who they are.

Whenever you receive something, even if it’s just a penny or a smile, say a little prayer of gratitude. Acknowledge and be thankful for whatever you receive. You can thank the Universe, God or your favorite higher power, or just enjoy the feeling of gratitude for a moment. If you feel grateful for what you receive, you’ll open the doors to receive even more.

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John Fitzgerald Kennedy

**this is an excerpt from the ebook Gratitude is the best Attitude, giving you insights on the gratitude living in your family as well as many games and activites to teach your children  about gratitude – you can get it HERE at this LINK for FREE

Related articles

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Image via Wikipedia

How are you connecting with your kids? Are you always too busy to really devote time to them? Are you listening with just one ear, while doing something “more important”? Are you planning time to be with them? Not as a driver or care-taker or teacher or whatever role you are playing… But really BE with them – listening, talking, engaging…

Let me first share my story.

We have a puppy, and each day I go for a long walk. At first it was something I felt I needed to do and I was pretty upset all the time, thinking how should I spent this time more efficiently. But when I thought again it is perfect opportunity to go out, to breathe some fresh air, to clear my head and to think of my next moves. Lately I do some tapping as well, although sometimes it still feels awkward when people are watching.

Now I enjoy my walks and I love meeting and interacting with people. Usually I’m not the person to start the conversation. And I still don’t do it, but our dog does it for me. Sounds strange? It’s true! It seems like dogs (and I guess any other animal) brings the best feelings out of people. They all respond to a dog, commenting and touching it. I usually stop and say something back. People share their experiences with me and especially older ones tell me stories of their own (late) dogs.

Having a dog on a leash is like wearing your heart wide open. You are inviting people to connect, you are offering them opportunity to approach you, you are giving them the chance to start the conversation.

And then there is another, more important aspect to it. When going for a walk I invite my kids to come along. Sometimes we don’t say anything, sometimes we talk about everyday stuff, like weather and sometimes we have really meaningful conversation. Again, it’s great opportunity to connect.

Of course you don’t need to have a dog to create your own opportunities.

Think about the opportunities you can create for connecting with your family members.

• What can you do together? Can you include your kids in your housework, maybe in the kitchen or in the garden?
• What interests do you share?
• When is the best time to connect? When can you create that space to talk or just be together?
• Can you schedule special rituals for bonding like going shopping with your daughter or watching football game with your son?

Please comment below and share with us what is your favorite way of bonding with your family.

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Did I help someone to realize a dream they thought they’d lost?

Did I listen when someone told me the reward is worth the cost?

Did I praise someone for their efforts and encourage someone toward their dreams?

Did I help someone to understand the end never justifies the means?

Did I make someone laugh and smile when they would much, rather frown?

Was I the one who picked them up when everyone put them down?

Am I, the one they confide in and know their conversations secure?

Did I provide them with someone to trust in knowing their friendship will always endure?

Am I humble and constantly striving to become more than I was yesterday?

Did I focus on the successes of others and follow through with all that I say?

If I constantly strive to become the one who can say I did to did I’s.

Then my life is fulfilled, knowing I have achieved life’s greatest prize.

Written by Carl Morris

Do you remember how excited you were when you gave your mother a small gift, made all by yourself? A simple flower? And how your mother was proud of you? It was all about the attention, affection and sharing the love.

I remember when I was in 3rd or 4th grade. It was the last day of school and I didn’t have a present for the teacher. I pannicked but my father cut a big branch full of dark red cherries from the tree behing our house. The kids at school laughed at me, but the teacher loved my gift. I learned at very young age it’s not the price of the gift that matters. In fact this is one of the fondest memories I have about the school.

I was reminded about this the other evening, when I got a phone call. A man ordered a package of CD’s with BrainWave Entrainment (for more on BWE go to www.geniusbrainpower.com) for his mother, but he didn’t like them. Not because they didn’t play music or they didn’t help her, but because they looked ugly to him. He wanted to give his mother a shiny beautiful present. He returned the CD’s, I gave him money back, but it got me thinking.

When we grow up, is the price the main criterion? And do we choose our gifts by the size and how they glitter?

As if we are saying: »Look, mom, I’m all grown up now. I am doing great. Look how much money I make and what I can buy for you. I’m somebody now and I can afford to buy you present.« Unfortunately it’s only us that value and compare ourselves by the size of the package.

As if mothers care for that. They don’t, I can assure you. Every mother, no matter how young or old her kids are, and no matter how old she is, appreciate the gift because of the consideration, the intention, the knowing that someone made effort, though about us, ponder what is important… It’s the thought that counts.

And I think we all should never forget the value of a true gift, given from the heart.

Related articles

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