When we see the headlines in newspapers and magazines or read the articles on the internet, we are often times forced to believe that success is over-night thing. The models and actors are found on the streets, writers and musicians miraculously hit #1 on the charts. And businesses earn millions instantly, with one product.

Even in biographies, the persons and their endevours are described shortly, with one sentence, and with words, that imply quick and easy shift.

But in reality the path to success often takes several, even tens of years, demanding much effort, overcoming many obstacles and sufferings.

You’ve probably heard of Edison’s 10.000 attempts. Colonel Sanders opened his first KFC in age of 62 after years of trying and perfecting his recipe. Famous book Chicken Soup for Soul was rejected 140 times before published. Twitter was growing in the mind of its inventor for almost 20 years. And you’ve probably heard the story of Steve Jobs.

It’s not so much about magical over-night change, but continuous day-to-day effort to reach the dreams.

It’s the same with parenting.

‎”Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.” – Catherine M. Wallace

It requires constant, continous, daily work. It’s small steps, sometimes minutes, that count. But as long as you keep moving, you can expect to reach your destination.

It can not be made with one huge shift. There is no quick fix for the problems. Nor can you expect to change one day and the world around will change. Rather than looking for quick solutions, devote each day time and effort to improve a tiny bit.

By building the strong foundation, not card towers, you can expect your family to be strong. With little actions you are creating the lasting change and laying a stepping stones for future success of your children.

Start small.

Keep going!

Expect miracles!

If you need help with determining your family vision and goals and keeping on the right path, I can help. Just send me an email and ask for introductory session, where we will set your dreams in motion.

Or join us in the DREAM LIFE CREATION CLUB for monthly inspiration and motivation. And it’s free!

No matter how much I love Christmas spirit, decorating, baking and Christmas songs, I HATE shopping. I just hate all this nervousness, craziness and over-spending. I see distressed parents trying to buy as much as possible from their kids’ wish list or even more. Or something different as long as it looks BIG. And at the end they are all in a bad mood when it’s time for paying it, not to mention days or month later, when the credit card bill is due.

It doesn’t have to be that way!

I still remember my younger days when we got something we really needed – new wardrobe, new shoes, maybe set of skis, skates… But today our kids have almost everything they need. We are usually not saving to get them what they want for that special occasions, we buy them stuff at the very same moment they express the need (or we see it). Just because we can. Of course there is always something new they want, and often times if we feel they don’t really need it, it ends in the letter to Santa.

But ask yourself – why in the world would we want to get them this item if we think they don’t need it?

• we want to show them how much we love them
• we want to show our kids that we would do anything for them
• we want to show them we can afford it (even if in reality we can’t, we just want to look good in our children’s eyes)
• we want to feel appreciated
• we want something in return (I appreciated your wishes, now it’s time for you to do the same)
• and so on and on…

Everything for the wrong reasons, wouldn’t you agree?

So instead of getting nervous and anxious, show your love and appreciation in inexpensive, but more valuable ways. We don’t need to break the bank or loose our sanity. Here are some ideas what you can do instead:

Devote some extra special time to be with your child. Go for a walk, go skating, play board games, read the book, compete in computer games… Create coupons and give them to child so he can use them whenever he feels.

Give gifts that connect your child with family and/or friends. Buy him tickets to the cinema, admissions to amusement parks or museums, organize him a party….

Listen and understand what your child really wants. If it’s a new toy, that he wants just because everyone else is having, maybe he needs more appreciation, higher self-esteem… so be careful about his Why? and choose the activities that support that.

Look for ways where you can give a little but your child gets a lot. This can include a charity work or donation, creating gifts for others, delivering secret notes… For example we bought a really big bone for our dog and girls just can’t wait to see the dog’s reaction to the gift. The excitement about giving and anticipation is more important than expensive toy that will soon end up forgotten in their rooms.

Promote spirit of Christmas instead focusing on the gifts. I know every child is excited to get his gift under the tree, but Christmas is so much more. It’s the atmosphere, the cards, the ornaments, baking and cooking… all these can be done with your kids and I’m sure they will remember these more than anything.

What are your ideas of spending the holiday season in inexpensive but meaningful ways? Please share below.

Related articles

• Inexpensive Gift Ideas For Christmas (tfollowers.com)
• Survey: Parents spend average of $271 per child on gifts (moms.today.msnbc.msn.com)
• Christmas Time (socyberty.com)

There is not a more pleasing exercise of the mind than gratitude. It is accompanied with such an inward satisfaction that the duty is sufficiently rewarded by the performance. Joseph Addison

The appreciation, gratitude and love are the highest forms of vibration. As more of our thoughts and words become positive, we start attracting more and more positive people and circumstances.

When we express our gratitude, we focus on the positive and we just can’t focus on negative at the same time.

We often go through our lives wanting more and more of the things. We wish to have a new car, new TV, phone, new love, better job, better grades… and sometimes we forget what we already have and achieved.

It is even more difficult for the children to see and acknowledge their positive characteristics and possessions. They may not be aware how giant their achievements have been and what kind of persistence and courage it took to be what they are now. Help them recognize that they too have a lot to be thankful for.

Remember, only by acknowledging and accepting what we have, we can have more.

Focus today, no matter what is happening in your life, on the here and now. Be grateful for what you do have and be grateful you are growing toward where you want to be.

Grace isn’t a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It’s a way to live.
Jacqueline Winspear

Create a family tradition and every night before going to sleep spend some time together as a family thinking of things you are grateful for.

Make it a family habit and include gratitude in your everyday lives. Include different gratitude activities in your family time.

Think about the things you possess both material and non-material. Think about people you met. Think also about challenges that you need to overcome; they are usually blessings in disguise.

At difficult times we might think that we have nothing to be grateful for or we find it difficult to feel the gratitude. But in those days when we feel it least it is most important to remind ourselves of all the good things in our lives.

When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
G.K. Chesterton

It is important that we understand that our current experiences are guideposts showing us that we are either on the right path of creating our desired outcomes or that we need to make some adjustments.

Develop the attitude of gratitude and give thanks to others. Tell them you appreciate what they do and who they are.

Whenever you receive something, even if it’s just a penny or a smile, say a little prayer of gratitude. Acknowledge and be thankful for whatever you receive. You can thank the Universe, God or your favorite higher power, or just enjoy the feeling of gratitude for a moment. If you feel grateful for what you receive, you’ll open the doors to receive even more.

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John Fitzgerald Kennedy

**this is an excerpt from the ebook Gratitude is the best Attitude, giving you insights on the gratitude living in your family as well as many games and activites to teach your children  about gratitude – you can get it HERE at this LINK for FREE

Related articles

• Gratitude Rocks (blissybliss.wordpress.com)
• Gratitude Journal: A New Way of Thinking (veronicasrandomness.wordpress.com)
• Giving thanks helps your psychological outlook (mercurynews.com)

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How are you connecting with your kids? Are you always too busy to really devote time to them? Are you listening with just one ear, while doing something “more important”? Are you planning time to be with them? Not as a driver or care-taker or teacher or whatever role you are playing… But really BE with them – listening, talking, engaging…

Let me first share my story.

We have a puppy, and each day I go for a long walk. At first it was something I felt I needed to do and I was pretty upset all the time, thinking how should I spent this time more efficiently. But when I thought again it is perfect opportunity to go out, to breathe some fresh air, to clear my head and to think of my next moves. Lately I do some tapping as well, although sometimes it still feels awkward when people are watching.

Now I enjoy my walks and I love meeting and interacting with people. Usually I’m not the person to start the conversation. And I still don’t do it, but our dog does it for me. Sounds strange? It’s true! It seems like dogs (and I guess any other animal) brings the best feelings out of people. They all respond to a dog, commenting and touching it. I usually stop and say something back. People share their experiences with me and especially older ones tell me stories of their own (late) dogs.

Having a dog on a leash is like wearing your heart wide open. You are inviting people to connect, you are offering them opportunity to approach you, you are giving them the chance to start the conversation.

And then there is another, more important aspect to it. When going for a walk I invite my kids to come along. Sometimes we don’t say anything, sometimes we talk about everyday stuff, like weather and sometimes we have really meaningful conversation. Again, it’s great opportunity to connect.

Of course you don’t need to have a dog to create your own opportunities.

Think about the opportunities you can create for connecting with your family members.

• What can you do together? Can you include your kids in your housework, maybe in the kitchen or in the garden?
• What interests do you share?
• When is the best time to connect? When can you create that space to talk or just be together?
• Can you schedule special rituals for bonding like going shopping with your daughter or watching football game with your son?

Please comment below and share with us what is your favorite way of bonding with your family.

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• THE BOND OF LOVE by Chloe Faith Wordsworth (repatterningjournal.com)

Did I help someone to realize a dream they thought they’d lost?

Did I listen when someone told me the reward is worth the cost?

Did I praise someone for their efforts and encourage someone toward their dreams?

Did I help someone to understand the end never justifies the means?

Did I make someone laugh and smile when they would much, rather frown?

Was I the one who picked them up when everyone put them down?

Am I, the one they confide in and know their conversations secure?

Did I provide them with someone to trust in knowing their friendship will always endure?

Am I humble and constantly striving to become more than I was yesterday?

Did I focus on the successes of others and follow through with all that I say?

If I constantly strive to become the one who can say I did to did I’s.

Then my life is fulfilled, knowing I have achieved life’s greatest prize.

Written by Carl Morris

Do you remember how excited you were when you gave your mother a small gift, made all by yourself? A simple flower? And how your mother was proud of you? It was all about the attention, affection and sharing the love.

I remember when I was in 3rd or 4th grade. It was the last day of school and I didn’t have a present for the teacher. I pannicked but my father cut a big branch full of dark red cherries from the tree behing our house. The kids at school laughed at me, but the teacher loved my gift. I learned at very young age it’s not the price of the gift that matters. In fact this is one of the fondest memories I have about the school.

I was reminded about this the other evening, when I got a phone call. A man ordered a package of CD’s with BrainWave Entrainment (for more on BWE go to www.geniusbrainpower.com) for his mother, but he didn’t like them. Not because they didn’t play music or they didn’t help her, but because they looked ugly to him. He wanted to give his mother a shiny beautiful present. He returned the CD’s, I gave him money back, but it got me thinking.

When we grow up, is the price the main criterion? And do we choose our gifts by the size and how they glitter?

As if we are saying: »Look, mom, I’m all grown up now. I am doing great. Look how much money I make and what I can buy for you. I’m somebody now and I can afford to buy you present.« Unfortunately it’s only us that value and compare ourselves by the size of the package.

As if mothers care for that. They don’t, I can assure you. Every mother, no matter how young or old her kids are, and no matter how old she is, appreciate the gift because of the consideration, the intention, the knowing that someone made effort, though about us, ponder what is important… It’s the thought that counts.

And I think we all should never forget the value of a true gift, given from the heart.

Related articles

• Carolyn Hax: Assure mom of your own strength in a crisis (knoxnews.com)
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If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television – and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”

There would have been more “I love you’s”.. More “I’m sorrys” …

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute… look at it and really see it … live it…and never give it back.

This was written by the late Erma Bombeck
after she found out she had a fatal disease.

This year we cancelled our vacations due to my mother’s critical condition. And just because we were bound to stay at home, with no possibility and willingness to go not even on a one-day trip, we decided that we will paint the house.

At first glance it looked like a great idea. We had lots of time, we would save the money by doing it ourselves and we would be distracted and not feeling sorry for not going anywhere.

But… we didn’t realized how much work it is and how really exhausting it could be.

After a week of hard work and juggling between home and hospital, I quit. I wanted some time off. I wanted just a piece of vacations. A glimpse of joy and freedom.
So we spent the last days of holidays doing nothing. We laid by the pool, read books, play games, watched TV…

At first it was really strange. I felt guilty. Being around the house and seeing all the things that can be cleaned, changed, improved…

I guess we are taught that way – doing nothing is something we should be ashamed. And what a role model we are to the children if we are wasting time? I can just hear my mother: «Look at all this mess and you are watching TV!!«

With some effort we made it into a great time. It felt so good. It gave us peace, strength. It offered us moments to reflect, to be silly and to just quietly enjoy. It created the opportunities to connect, to talk about things we never had time for, to play games we were putting off.

How do you find the time to do nothing? To get away from your normal, everyday life? To quiet your body and mind? How do you feel when you are doing nothing?

Because, you know, we all need time to reset, to get energy back, to raise our vibrations. Sometimes we can do it by meeting friends or going to the cinema, but sometimes we just need time to do nothing.

It doesn’t have to be a week or a whole day, not even hours. Sometimes it’s enough to be still for minutes.

You can steal moments to watch the clouds. Or moon and the stars. You can cuddle with your child. Play with your pet. Listen to your favorite song. Dream. Or just do nothing.

Today is the first day of schol here in Slovenia. Many of you escorted your little ones to school for the first time and many sent off your kids to higher grades, but the first day is still the first day. Following long summer vacations, doing nothing, just enjoying your time with friends and family, it’s still a big day for many.

What were your thoughts about new school year? Were you excited or worried?

How do you think your kids will be and do in school if you are worried? You know that we more often talk about negative experiences (and not only about school):

• Oh, my boy is always fighting.
• He can’t sit still and follow the class.
• She is talking and disturbing the class.
• She’s just not good at math.
• He can’t….

And then we might also add some warnings and threats:

• If you will not do good in school, you will end up on the streets.
• Now, that the school started, you’ll have to work real hard.

Some things we say, but some we are just feeling (and needless to say, kids feel them too) – we worry about teachers, grades, friends, bullies… and future and jobs.
About how dangerous these things are, listen to my interview for Sparkling Kids Interviews with Jerry Balone. He was called names, proclaimed retarded and reminded at every occasion, that he can be nothing else but criminal. And finally he was. Finding only acknowledgement and family in the gang. Spent most of his life in prison. Now he is telling his story to warn us and inspire kids.

The child is thinking, and receiving vibrational thought from you on the day that he enters your environment. That is the reason that beliefs are transmitted so easily from parent to child, from parent to child, from parent to child. The child is vibrationally receiving your fears, your beliefs, even without your spoken word… If you want to do that which is of greatest value for your child, give thought only to that which you want, and your child will receive only those wanted thoughts. Abraham

Here are few ideas how you can make your kids excited about going to school (besides buying them some treats on the first day):

Talk about learning with enthusiasm – school is an important part of our kids life, but it’s not really about grades. It prepares them to live. To be able to see beyond their current world. They are learning also about themselves.

Talk about teachers with respect – they can make mistakes, they can be mean… but they are human too. And you know how in every bad situation there is something positive? It goes for people too. Try to find something good about every teacher. Or at least what he can learn from the negative situations.

Put away »the teacher factor« – Do you remember the teacher you feared or hated most in your school years? I bet he (or she) taught the subject you also hated most. Or it was that you hated the subject because of the teacher? Talk to your child about different subjects and topics he can learn. Emphasise the knowledge and disconnect it from the teacher.

Talk about classmates with symphaty – The classes are mixture of children coming from different backgrounds, families… Some are nice, some are rude, some are bullies… Let the child choose his own friends. Talk to your child about his friends and those that are not. Can you help him stop a bully? How about making new friend this year? Or helping new kid in school?

It’s not just about grades. Many famous people did very well without school. Among them are inventors, musicians, writers, entrepreneurs, millionaires…

What really counts today is the knowledge and ability to learn. That’s why you as a parent need to inspire your child to be life-long learner, regardles of their school environment, teachers, friends, or even you.

Those who will have hunger for discovering new things, are future explorers, scientists and leaders, crossing the known and passing new frontiers in human existance.

Cotton Candy friending is a phenomenon among the Facebook generation where the more friends you have the better and soon you realize that you have 1276 friends on MySpace, but no one to hand out in real life. I find that we are truly hungry for real relationships, because the social network ‘friend’ does not sustain us.

So, how can we get Cotton Candy friends back to being real dessert…or maybe even a meal, something long lasting and nutritious for your soul. Talk to your teens about friendship and that:

It Can Take 50 Years
When I got home from college and realized that I had no ‘friends’ despite my 1300+ friends on Facebook, my mom told me that she is ( ) years-old and it has taken her that many years to find just two best friends–her husband and her one best girlfriend. This reminded me that it takes a lifetime to build friends.

Sometimes One Friend Equal One Thousand Cotton Candy Friends
Sometimes I feel bad that I do not have a ‘group’ of girlfriends like I did in High School or college. When I feel lonely I might skim down my friends newsfeeds on Facebook or look at their recent updates for an hour or two. Afterwards, I still felt lonely. Yet, when I talk to my friend (Margo, whom this post is dedicated to) for even twenty minutes I feel so much more fulfilled. One great friend, is worth way more than any amount of social network friends.

What Does it Mean to Know Someone?
I have people whom I follow on Twitter and I know what they had for breakfast yesterday and how fast they can run the mile. I do not know their last names, what they are afraid of, or if they are happy right now. I think sometimes teens get confused with the idea of ‘knowing’ someone. Just because you get ten updates from someone you know per day, does not necessarily mean they are a ‘friend.’

Would you have someone to call if…
A few months ago my grandfather died. I had very few people to call and vent. Thank goodness I do have some true friends, but when I happened to mention it to a friend from Facebook, it was awkward. She didn’t know what to say because she didn’t really know me other than what I usually eat for breakfast. Ask your teen if they would have someone to call if something sad happened to them.

Know the Difference
it is OK to have Cotton Candy friends, in fact they can often provide great procrastination distractions and make you appreciate your real friends. Just make sure they know the difference. When you asked your teen if they would have someone to call if something sad happened to them, also ask them who they wouldn’t call—this can tell you just as much.

Different Types of Friends
On that same note from above, I have friends I go shopping with, some I talk to about work, some I talk to about my boyfriend, and some I go to the gym with. This is OK! When I speak to teen girls and boys I explain to them that this is ok to have different friends for different interests. It feels like a lot of pressure to have to have one BEST BEST BEST FRIEND FOREVER, not everyone has this all the time.

Friends and Trust
I spoke above about really knowing if people you are connected with on social networks are your friends. There can be a false sense of security with an internet buddy or Myspace connection. I think teens need to be really aware of what they put on their newsfeeds for friends to see, they also need to be careful what they tell their ‘friends.’ Again, knowing who they would not call if they were sad are the same people they should not be telling personal information to.

This is an excerpt (published with permission from the author Vanessa Van Petten) from the e-book “How to Communicate with Teens and Tweens 101″ 

I recently interviewed Vanessa for my Sparkling Kids Interviews and she shared a lot of useful tips how to deal with teens. You can listen to the interview at this LINK.

About the Author

Vanessa Van Petten is one of the nation’s youngest experts, or ‘youthologists’ on parenting and adolescents. She now runs her popular parenting website, RadicalParenting.com, which she writes with 120 other teenage writers to answer questions from parents and adults. Her approach has been featured by CNN, Fox News, and Wall Street Journal. She was also on the Real Housewives of Orange County helping the housewives with troubled teens. Her next book, “Do I Get My Allowance Before or After I’m Grounded?” is being released in September 2011 with Plume Books of Penguin USA.

Visit also her webpage www.radicalparenting.com and claim her ebook.