The BEST Children Lessons

Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category

When I asked my girls to do some simple stuff around the house, they immediately started complaining: You are giving us so much to do; it’s so difficult; it will take us whole afternoon; we are having school holidays and you are making us work and so on and so on…. You know how that goes?

Annoyed with their complaining I asked: “Those are really simple tasks like taking the trash our, how long do you think it will take you to do them?”

And of course they answered: “It’s so much work! We will do these for the whole afternoon”.

I said: “OK, let’s see.”

Then I prepared a table with tasks and left some space for notes. When they start performing those little tasks, I measured time and as you might imagine they did everything in 15 minutes. But it was fun and because of that it was not so difficult to do.

So, next time you want something from your kids, make it a challenge:

1. Measure how much time something will take them to do
2. Make a competition – who will be first to finish the tasks
3. Let them guess how much time will they need for the task and see how close they got
4. Set a time goal and see if they can perform within the specified time frame

Just like the kids learn through play and the play is their job, it will be so much easier if you make their “job” a play. Let them do something at their own pace and even their own way. As long as it is done what do you care how it is done.

Many kids start new school year at September 1st. A lot of them are waiting anxiously to meet their friends, but many are afraid to go to school. Maybe they are starting at the new school or they just don’t like their school and their “friends”. They might be bullied or ridiculed by their schoolmates.

What can you as a parent do about it? How can you help?
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Some kids are open and can make new friends quite easily where ever they go. And some are just nothing like that. They stick to their mothers and won’t move away for an inch. Their mothers usually say: “It is such a shy kid.” But in reality only part of this can be attributed to their nature. It’s also the result of their upbringing and circumstances.

Now at the beginning of new school year or going to the kindergarten for the first time, it can be quite challenging for some kids to be comfortable with new people.

Here are few tips how you can help your child to make new friends:

1. Examine your own thoughts, words and actions!

However strange it may sound, it all starts with you. How do you behave with strangers? What are you saying abut other people? How do you describe other kids? Are they adorable little creatures or those awful dirty screaming punks?

When you relate to others with negative words and even frightening your child, he will certainly feel insecure around new people. If they will be nice to him, he might even feel that he is betraying you if he is to return the kindness.

If you act reserved and going away from other people it’s great probability that your kid will act the same way.

2. Take it slow

Sometimes the kids are naturally shy and need some more time, even if you are very outspoken and open. In this case, keep your positive attitude, as it can help a lot. Approach other kids and communicate with them, making sure your kid see that it’s safe and that it’s ok to talk and play with them.

Encourage interactions with other people but don’t push your kid to make friends. He might need some more time. Allow him enough time and space to get comfortable with others. Maybe you can invite some families over your house for some ice-cream or lemonade. It will be much easier for your kid dealing with strangers in  familiar environment.

3. Keep it safe!

Even though most people are nice and friendly, there are some who are not. Let your kid know about dangers and how to react when faced with them. It is important not to scare or even threaten your kid. Explain differnet, possibly hazardous situations in simple and neutral terms.

How do you help your child when meeting new people and making new friends? Please share your thoughts and comme

I remember I was always afraid of the snakes, even from my youngest days. In Slovenia snakes are quite rare and you are not very likely to meet one. But I somehow manage to see snakes where ever I go. Last time we were at the Kolpa river bathing and enjoying ourselves and suddenly there was a snake in front of me. I panicked and we immediately left the place. We then talked to a friend who lives near the river and he saw a snake once in his entire life. My husband said: “You must be attracting snakes, you are seeing them everywhere.” And at the time I didn’t think about it until someone said: ”It’s a good sign!” I got curious and searched the net and I only found really good and positive descriptions.

Snakes mean wisdom, healing, intuition, awaking of creative forces, ability to handle change without resistance, new opportunities for change, material vitality, intellect emotional control and increased sensitivity to the environment. Really great, isn’t? And now wherever I go I am looking for snakes eager to see one.

The only thing that changed in this story is my perspective, my point of view and my attitude.
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I was lying the other day on the beach and there were many families with kids around me. As usual I was observing how the parents treat children and how the kids behave.

What really bothered me that day was that some parents were treating their kids as they were little babies even when they were already 4, 6 or even more years old.

Are you doing the same mistake? Do you always stand behind your kid and follow each step? Are you yelling: “Dress up, you will catch cold?” or “Don’t go there, you will fall!” or even “You already ate one ice-cream today, you might get ill if you eat more!”. And then there were parents who were dressing and undressing the kids. Running after them with sandwiches. Going with them to the ice-cream parlor just few steps away. Or have them wear shoes all the time.

By over-protecting your kid you are doing great damage to his self-esteem and his self-worth. You are taking away his power to do the things his way and to learn by doing. And you are depriving him of some great experiences.
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When we have our own kids, we want them to raise into responsible, accountable human beings, but very often parents limit the children’ power to express themselves and to take charge. We tell them what to do and how to do it. Some parents might argue that we are trying to protect them from the dangers of the world, but by doing so we are taking away their control and self-esteem. Parents need to learn to give the kids responsibility for their lives.

Here are few ways how you can do it from early years on.

When the kids are really small they depend on you and your care. But as soon as they can do something by their own, let them do it. Encourage their trying and efforts. Just like we are enthusiastic about walking, speaking and riding a bike, teach them other smaller tasks like dressing up, eating, putting away toys etc. with the same enthusiasm.
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Picture yourself vividly as winning, and that alone will contribute immeasurably to success.

Harry Emerson Fosdick

I was working in our garden the other day and Tina was jumping and running around. The weeds were overgrowing our grass and I was thinking how our lives are much like the garden. You have to nurture it and constantly removing the weeds (negative thoughts), that are coming from our environment (neighbours, or even from air..lol).

But then when I stretched my back, I got alert to Tina’s playing. She was kicking the ball and trying to hit the goal. After some time watching, I realized she is pretending to be two teams playing against each other. “They” all ran around, hitting and kicking the ball, trying to score the goal. And the result was really tight all the time. But at the end of the game of course that Tina won and she was jumping around doing deep bows. It was really fun to watch.

I realized how kids are confident about themselves and how they think of themselves as invincible. They always win in their games. When do we loose this feeling of being the best? How come that we allow our fears and negative beliefs to overcome our winning attitude? We let the weeds overgrow our flowers?

And it happens that the same night we watched “Slovenia’s got Talent” (oh, yes, we have that one too). The winner was little 7-year old Lina. She really has beautiful voice and she is a little princess. But what I noticed the most was how easily she performed, not affected by all the buzz and fuzz around the competition. She was cute and sweet but she was doing what she loves doing most and she was also very confident and mature.

And I thought:
That’s what we owe to the children, to keep their confidence, self-esteem and faith untouched.

Think about it! Are you supporting or limiting your child? How do you do it?

I would really love to hear your ideas and opinions, so leave the comment below.

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.

Paulo Coelho

 
I don’t know why but today I remembered this little incident from several years ago and I want to share it with you.

Anja had a birthday and she invited some friends from the school. We planned to have a pool party but it was raining, so we decided to have a party in the house.

There were around 15 kids invited and they were playing just great. We had some games we prepared and just ate the cake. And when the party was coming to end I found some money lying on the floor. It was not small amount but rather large for the kid to carry around.

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As you grow older, you’ll find the only things you regret are the things you didn’t do.

Zachary Scott

The other day, my husband was contacted by an advertising company to get our daughter Anja to a casting for a telecommunications advertising campaign. It was quite a surprise call, as it was Saturday afternoon and she never applied. Later we discussed it was probably the same casting company that filmed the ad at the swimming pool some time ago and back then Anja’s friend performed in it.

But as I might think she would jump at the opportunity, I mean, which teenager would not want to be a TV star and earn some money, she refused to go.

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I always tell my daughters to go for their dreams, to reach for the impossible and to always try the unknown.

This last one is especially true for the food. I am really proud that they eat everything – they love vegetables, fruits, even fish and mussels. I met many parents and they were complaining how their children are picky. And then when we discussed it, it turns out that they were picky too. How could they expect from children to eat everything when they are not?

I guess I was lucky because my father was always bringing recipes home from his business trips and my mother was a great cook, so we ate all kind of things. And that’s why I love trying new tastes and foreign cuisines. And so are my daughters. 

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