This year I already attended two funerals, both of family friends in their 60′s. Although both suffered heavy illnesses for some time, it was still very sad. But very eye-opening. It got me thinking about important things in our lives.

One of the funerals was especially touching. I think I never saw so many people attending before.

After the ceremony at the cemetery we were invited to lunch, together with some 100 others. And all of them was talking about deceased. How he helped them at one point of their lives or another, one way or the other. How often times he didn’t asked for payment or anything in return. How he was always prepared to offer helping hand. How he was always ready to have fun.

And obviously this is why our lives are worth living. To enjoy.  To have great time with friends and family. To help and support each other. To offer help to strangers without expecting anything in return. To leave our mark on their lives.

That’s what is really important. Not how much money you have. Or how great car you are driving. Or how big your house is. Not even how important is your position in the company.

What really counts is how you affect other people. How you treat them. How much time you spend with them. How you made them feel.

We all say that family is the most important thing in our lives. But are we really spending our time and energy according to that? Or do we just say it, but take it for granted?

• Think about your time, your efforts, your input… do they reflect your values?
• Are you spending your time with kids and spouse?
• Do you find time for friends?

Here is what you can do:

• Commit to spend more time with your loved ones.
• Plan your time to be with them.
• Reconnect with lost friends.
• Make new friends.
• Smile to a stranger.
• Pay it forward.

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others,
It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important,
Only you know what is best for you.

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart
Cling to that as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect,
It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks,
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.

The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tightly,
And the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don’t dismiss your Dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope.
To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don’t run through life so fast that you forget where you’ve been,
But also know where you’re going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored every step of the way.

No matter how much I love Christmas spirit, decorating, baking and Christmas songs, I HATE shopping. I just hate all this nervousness, craziness and over-spending. I see distressed parents trying to buy as much as possible from their kids’ wish list or even more. Or something different as long as it looks BIG. And at the end they are all in a bad mood when it’s time for paying it, not to mention days or month later, when the credit card bill is due.

It doesn’t have to be that way!

I still remember my younger days when we got something we really needed – new wardrobe, new shoes, maybe set of skis, skates… But today our kids have almost everything they need. We are usually not saving to get them what they want for that special occasions, we buy them stuff at the very same moment they express the need (or we see it). Just because we can. Of course there is always something new they want, and often times if we feel they don’t really need it, it ends in the letter to Santa.

But ask yourself – why in the world would we want to get them this item if we think they don’t need it?

• we want to show them how much we love them
• we want to show our kids that we would do anything for them
• we want to show them we can afford it (even if in reality we can’t, we just want to look good in our children’s eyes)
• we want to feel appreciated
• we want something in return (I appreciated your wishes, now it’s time for you to do the same)
• and so on and on…

Everything for the wrong reasons, wouldn’t you agree?

So instead of getting nervous and anxious, show your love and appreciation in inexpensive, but more valuable ways. We don’t need to break the bank or loose our sanity. Here are some ideas what you can do instead:

Devote some extra special time to be with your child. Go for a walk, go skating, play board games, read the book, compete in computer games… Create coupons and give them to child so he can use them whenever he feels.

Give gifts that connect your child with family and/or friends. Buy him tickets to the cinema, admissions to amusement parks or museums, organize him a party….

Listen and understand what your child really wants. If it’s a new toy, that he wants just because everyone else is having, maybe he needs more appreciation, higher self-esteem… so be careful about his Why? and choose the activities that support that.

Look for ways where you can give a little but your child gets a lot. This can include a charity work or donation, creating gifts for others, delivering secret notes… For example we bought a really big bone for our dog and girls just can’t wait to see the dog’s reaction to the gift. The excitement about giving and anticipation is more important than expensive toy that will soon end up forgotten in their rooms.

Promote spirit of Christmas instead focusing on the gifts. I know every child is excited to get his gift under the tree, but Christmas is so much more. It’s the atmosphere, the cards, the ornaments, baking and cooking… all these can be done with your kids and I’m sure they will remember these more than anything.

What are your ideas of spending the holiday season in inexpensive but meaningful ways? Please share below.

Related articles

• Inexpensive Gift Ideas For Christmas (tfollowers.com)
• Survey: Parents spend average of $271 per child on gifts (moms.today.msnbc.msn.com)
• Christmas Time (socyberty.com)

Did I help someone to realize a dream they thought they’d lost?

Did I listen when someone told me the reward is worth the cost?

Did I praise someone for their efforts and encourage someone toward their dreams?

Did I help someone to understand the end never justifies the means?

Did I make someone laugh and smile when they would much, rather frown?

Was I the one who picked them up when everyone put them down?

Am I, the one they confide in and know their conversations secure?

Did I provide them with someone to trust in knowing their friendship will always endure?

Am I humble and constantly striving to become more than I was yesterday?

Did I focus on the successes of others and follow through with all that I say?

If I constantly strive to become the one who can say I did to did I’s.

Then my life is fulfilled, knowing I have achieved life’s greatest prize.

Written by Carl Morris

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television – and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”

There would have been more “I love you’s”.. More “I’m sorrys” …

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute… look at it and really see it … live it…and never give it back.

This was written by the late Erma Bombeck
after she found out she had a fatal disease.

This year we cancelled our vacations due to my mother’s critical condition. And just because we were bound to stay at home, with no possibility and willingness to go not even on a one-day trip, we decided that we will paint the house.

At first glance it looked like a great idea. We had lots of time, we would save the money by doing it ourselves and we would be distracted and not feeling sorry for not going anywhere.

But… we didn’t realized how much work it is and how really exhausting it could be.

After a week of hard work and juggling between home and hospital, I quit. I wanted some time off. I wanted just a piece of vacations. A glimpse of joy and freedom.
So we spent the last days of holidays doing nothing. We laid by the pool, read books, play games, watched TV…

At first it was really strange. I felt guilty. Being around the house and seeing all the things that can be cleaned, changed, improved…

I guess we are taught that way – doing nothing is something we should be ashamed. And what a role model we are to the children if we are wasting time? I can just hear my mother: «Look at all this mess and you are watching TV!!«

With some effort we made it into a great time. It felt so good. It gave us peace, strength. It offered us moments to reflect, to be silly and to just quietly enjoy. It created the opportunities to connect, to talk about things we never had time for, to play games we were putting off.

How do you find the time to do nothing? To get away from your normal, everyday life? To quiet your body and mind? How do you feel when you are doing nothing?

Because, you know, we all need time to reset, to get energy back, to raise our vibrations. Sometimes we can do it by meeting friends or going to the cinema, but sometimes we just need time to do nothing.

It doesn’t have to be a week or a whole day, not even hours. Sometimes it’s enough to be still for minutes.

You can steal moments to watch the clouds. Or moon and the stars. You can cuddle with your child. Play with your pet. Listen to your favorite song. Dream. Or just do nothing.

Today is the first day of schol here in Slovenia. Many of you escorted your little ones to school for the first time and many sent off your kids to higher grades, but the first day is still the first day. Following long summer vacations, doing nothing, just enjoying your time with friends and family, it’s still a big day for many.

What were your thoughts about new school year? Were you excited or worried?

How do you think your kids will be and do in school if you are worried? You know that we more often talk about negative experiences (and not only about school):

• Oh, my boy is always fighting.
• He can’t sit still and follow the class.
• She is talking and disturbing the class.
• She’s just not good at math.
• He can’t….

And then we might also add some warnings and threats:

• If you will not do good in school, you will end up on the streets.
• Now, that the school started, you’ll have to work real hard.

Some things we say, but some we are just feeling (and needless to say, kids feel them too) – we worry about teachers, grades, friends, bullies… and future and jobs.
About how dangerous these things are, listen to my interview for Sparkling Kids Interviews with Jerry Balone. He was called names, proclaimed retarded and reminded at every occasion, that he can be nothing else but criminal. And finally he was. Finding only acknowledgement and family in the gang. Spent most of his life in prison. Now he is telling his story to warn us and inspire kids.

The child is thinking, and receiving vibrational thought from you on the day that he enters your environment. That is the reason that beliefs are transmitted so easily from parent to child, from parent to child, from parent to child. The child is vibrationally receiving your fears, your beliefs, even without your spoken word… If you want to do that which is of greatest value for your child, give thought only to that which you want, and your child will receive only those wanted thoughts. Abraham

Here are few ideas how you can make your kids excited about going to school (besides buying them some treats on the first day):

Talk about learning with enthusiasm – school is an important part of our kids life, but it’s not really about grades. It prepares them to live. To be able to see beyond their current world. They are learning also about themselves.

Talk about teachers with respect – they can make mistakes, they can be mean… but they are human too. And you know how in every bad situation there is something positive? It goes for people too. Try to find something good about every teacher. Or at least what he can learn from the negative situations.

Put away »the teacher factor« – Do you remember the teacher you feared or hated most in your school years? I bet he (or she) taught the subject you also hated most. Or it was that you hated the subject because of the teacher? Talk to your child about different subjects and topics he can learn. Emphasise the knowledge and disconnect it from the teacher.

Talk about classmates with symphaty – The classes are mixture of children coming from different backgrounds, families… Some are nice, some are rude, some are bullies… Let the child choose his own friends. Talk to your child about his friends and those that are not. Can you help him stop a bully? How about making new friend this year? Or helping new kid in school?

It’s not just about grades. Many famous people did very well without school. Among them are inventors, musicians, writers, entrepreneurs, millionaires…

What really counts today is the knowledge and ability to learn. That’s why you as a parent need to inspire your child to be life-long learner, regardles of their school environment, teachers, friends, or even you.

Those who will have hunger for discovering new things, are future explorers, scientists and leaders, crossing the known and passing new frontiers in human existance.

After years of begging, negotiations and tears I finally gave in and let the kids have a dog.

We »tried« with the bunnies before to see if the kids are mature and reponsible enough to even have an animal. And they more than proved they are. Of course there were some days when they needed to be reminded to feed them or clean their cage, but otherwise they were and still are taking good care of them.

The first puppy we chose died during the sterilisation operation. After the first shock and desperate children’ cry we started to look for another. We were so eager now to get a dog. Still determined to get one from the shelter, we browsed the internet and called around. With very little luck. When we found a dog we liked one was already taken. Then we found another and no one answered the phone. At the third attempt their attitude was really awful.

Why is this happening to us? Why are we having so much troubles? What does this mean?
As if they were all saying »We are not giving you the dog.«

We were so focused and determined to get that dog at any price. Right there and then. We were pushing and pushing and of course it was just like banging on the wall. We were not allowing the dog to come to us, we wanted it just the way we thought was the right way.

It suddenly became too much of everything. We stopped and relaxed. We just let it be. We decided to have a dog and sooner or later we would get one.

Then we found that perfect dog. It was literally waiting for us at the first shelter we looked. And this one is exactly what we wished for. Small, cute, sweet and friendly. She’s adopting to our family and our life style. It’s like we’ve always had a dog. The girls are taking really good care of her, giving her food, taking her for walks, grooming her and cleaning after her. They even set their alarm clocks to take her out in the night.

The lesson?

Of course it’s esential we know what we want. It’s the first step to getting it. But after that we need to relax. Let it happen. Wait for signs and signals for our inspired actions. Not something our logical mind is telling us, or something we think we should do, but acts that we are feeling deeply inside that are the right ones and that will take us closer to our goals.

If you’re having troubles in your life, are you solving them by pushing your own solutions? Are you determined to have it your way? Do you just know how it needs to be done? How it’s supposed to happen? Well, maybe your way is not the right way or at least not the only way? If it was you wouldn’t had that troubles, right?

We just need to let go. Get out of our own way and allow things to happen. Listen to our hearts. Follow our feelings. And expect the best.

I want to tell you about choices. Not the choices that we make and the consequences of them. But the choices we should be making. And most of all we should be teaching our kids about.

Those are choices about what we think, how we feel and how we react. Even though sometimes it doesn’t look like we have a choice, we always do. In every situation and every moment.

What we see and feel in a situation is all about us. About our own beliefs and our predefinitions. What we were taught to see and think. Do you remember my story about Tina’s birthday in the rain? We adults were thinking how bad it is. But the kids still had great time. See? It all depends on our choice. Choice of our thoughts and feelings.

And as true as you can see positive in every situation, you can also make positive choices in every situation. We are all too often telling our children what to see and how to act and behave instead of thaching them to make their own decisions. To think about the choices they have and the consequences of each. To finally choose one that looks good and feels best.

But how do we teach kids about choices? Like everything else – with small steps. At first tell them your set of choices they might have. »Do you want to take out trash bin now or after the dinner?« » Do you want to play with your friends outside or in your room?« »Do you want to wear blue or red sweater today?«…

Looks pretty simple but sometimes we are so focused on our way that we are missing the point.

You could also say:«Take out the trash bin! NOW!!« See the difference? And the final goal is that the trash bin is empty. Does it really make big diference if it is now or few hours later? Usually not. But you are making huge difference in your child’s life if you are allowing him to choose.

When your child has a choice, he thinks about his possibilities. He feels in control. He feels even more responsible, because it’s his own choice and his desicion.

In addition to offering your child few possibilities to choose from, ask him about his own ideas. »What would you do?« »When…?« »How..« »What do you think about…«

And of course you should teach (and show) your child that he has a choice with his words, feelings, actions and reactions…

In every situation he can choose the positive outcome. As well as he can choose to be happy.