When we see the headlines in newspapers and magazines or read the articles on the internet, we are often times forced to believe that success is over-night thing. The models and actors are found on the streets, writers and musicians miraculously hit #1 on the charts. And businesses earn millions instantly, with one product.

Even in biographies, the persons and their endevours are described shortly, with one sentence, and with words, that imply quick and easy shift.

But in reality the path to success often takes several, even tens of years, demanding much effort, overcoming many obstacles and sufferings.

You’ve probably heard of Edison’s 10.000 attempts. Colonel Sanders opened his first KFC in age of 62 after years of trying and perfecting his recipe. Famous book Chicken Soup for Soul was rejected 140 times before published. Twitter was growing in the mind of its inventor for almost 20 years. And you’ve probably heard the story of Steve Jobs.

It’s not so much about magical over-night change, but continuous day-to-day effort to reach the dreams.

It’s the same with parenting.

‎”Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.” – Catherine M. Wallace

It requires constant, continous, daily work. It’s small steps, sometimes minutes, that count. But as long as you keep moving, you can expect to reach your destination.

It can not be made with one huge shift. There is no quick fix for the problems. Nor can you expect to change one day and the world around will change. Rather than looking for quick solutions, devote each day time and effort to improve a tiny bit.

By building the strong foundation, not card towers, you can expect your family to be strong. With little actions you are creating the lasting change and laying a stepping stones for future success of your children.

Start small.

Keep going!

Expect miracles!

If you need help with determining your family vision and goals and keeping on the right path, I can help. Just send me an email and ask for introductory session, where we will set your dreams in motion.

Or join us in the DREAM LIFE CREATION CLUB for monthly inspiration and motivation. And it’s free!

This year I already attended two funerals, both of family friends in their 60′s. Although both suffered heavy illnesses for some time, it was still very sad. But very eye-opening. It got me thinking about important things in our lives.

One of the funerals was especially touching. I think I never saw so many people attending before.

After the ceremony at the cemetery we were invited to lunch, together with some 100 others. And all of them was talking about deceased. How he helped them at one point of their lives or another, one way or the other. How often times he didn’t asked for payment or anything in return. How he was always prepared to offer helping hand. How he was always ready to have fun.

And obviously this is why our lives are worth living. To enjoy.  To have great time with friends and family. To help and support each other. To offer help to strangers without expecting anything in return. To leave our mark on their lives.

That’s what is really important. Not how much money you have. Or how great car you are driving. Or how big your house is. Not even how important is your position in the company.

What really counts is how you affect other people. How you treat them. How much time you spend with them. How you made them feel.

We all say that family is the most important thing in our lives. But are we really spending our time and energy according to that? Or do we just say it, but take it for granted?

• Think about your time, your efforts, your input… do they reflect your values?
• Are you spending your time with kids and spouse?
• Do you find time for friends?

Here is what you can do:

• Commit to spend more time with your loved ones.
• Plan your time to be with them.
• Reconnect with lost friends.
• Make new friends.
• Smile to a stranger.
• Pay it forward.

I know you want to be happy. I know you want your kids to be happy. And prosperous. And successful.

But wishing is just not enough.

I’m sure you want to do something that you really need to do for a long time. Like loose weight, stop smoking or something like that. We usually call those goals RESOLUTIONS and we are really good at making them around New Year.

“Next year I will exercise more.”
“I’ll start the diet next year.”

You know what I mean. We’ve all been there.

But do you know why those resolutions don’t work? Because they are not your own:) Well, you can argue that you made them yourself, you put your mind to it, but in reality you are doing it to please someone else or you are doing it for all the wrong reasons. Or you think you should just because…

They are coming from your “outside”.

The vision is coming from your inside, it reflects your inner wishes and desires. It is an answer to your WHY.

You might say: “What is this got to do with family life? We have so much obligations. We don’t have time!”

It’s true! I agree with you. We really have no time. And exactly that’s why we don’t want to waste it on something that’s not important and has no value for us.

Ask yourself: “Do I have a vision for my family? Is my time allocation showing my priorities? Do I make the time for the most important people in my life?”

Here are few ideas where to start:

Ask yourself what you want.

• What you REALLY REALLY want?
• How would you spend your ideal day?
• With whom?
• What you would be doing?

Forget about others, just write down what feels great for you! Where would you want to be in few years? What kind of life would you lead?

Now look around and pick 3 things that “pop into your eyes” (meaning you get attracted to them). What do they tell you? Why you picked them? What do they mean to you? What memories, emotions, feelings, thoughts… they bring? Find the common theme for them and see how it fits into your life.

Now you’ll probably have a great idea what you really want deep down inside.

Plan your goals and actions to get there!

If you need help, you can always ask for a VISION CARD reading. Just send me an email and schedule the meeting (via Skype).

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others,
It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important,
Only you know what is best for you.

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart
Cling to that as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect,
It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks,
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.

The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tightly,
And the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don’t dismiss your Dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope.
To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don’t run through life so fast that you forget where you’ve been,
But also know where you’re going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored every step of the way.

No matter how much I love Christmas spirit, decorating, baking and Christmas songs, I HATE shopping. I just hate all this nervousness, craziness and over-spending. I see distressed parents trying to buy as much as possible from their kids’ wish list or even more. Or something different as long as it looks BIG. And at the end they are all in a bad mood when it’s time for paying it, not to mention days or month later, when the credit card bill is due.

It doesn’t have to be that way!

I still remember my younger days when we got something we really needed – new wardrobe, new shoes, maybe set of skis, skates… But today our kids have almost everything they need. We are usually not saving to get them what they want for that special occasions, we buy them stuff at the very same moment they express the need (or we see it). Just because we can. Of course there is always something new they want, and often times if we feel they don’t really need it, it ends in the letter to Santa.

But ask yourself – why in the world would we want to get them this item if we think they don’t need it?

• we want to show them how much we love them
• we want to show our kids that we would do anything for them
• we want to show them we can afford it (even if in reality we can’t, we just want to look good in our children’s eyes)
• we want to feel appreciated
• we want something in return (I appreciated your wishes, now it’s time for you to do the same)
• and so on and on…

Everything for the wrong reasons, wouldn’t you agree?

So instead of getting nervous and anxious, show your love and appreciation in inexpensive, but more valuable ways. We don’t need to break the bank or loose our sanity. Here are some ideas what you can do instead:

Devote some extra special time to be with your child. Go for a walk, go skating, play board games, read the book, compete in computer games… Create coupons and give them to child so he can use them whenever he feels.

Give gifts that connect your child with family and/or friends. Buy him tickets to the cinema, admissions to amusement parks or museums, organize him a party….

Listen and understand what your child really wants. If it’s a new toy, that he wants just because everyone else is having, maybe he needs more appreciation, higher self-esteem… so be careful about his Why? and choose the activities that support that.

Look for ways where you can give a little but your child gets a lot. This can include a charity work or donation, creating gifts for others, delivering secret notes… For example we bought a really big bone for our dog and girls just can’t wait to see the dog’s reaction to the gift. The excitement about giving and anticipation is more important than expensive toy that will soon end up forgotten in their rooms.

Promote spirit of Christmas instead focusing on the gifts. I know every child is excited to get his gift under the tree, but Christmas is so much more. It’s the atmosphere, the cards, the ornaments, baking and cooking… all these can be done with your kids and I’m sure they will remember these more than anything.

What are your ideas of spending the holiday season in inexpensive but meaningful ways? Please share below.

Related articles

• Inexpensive Gift Ideas For Christmas (tfollowers.com)
• Survey: Parents spend average of $271 per child on gifts (moms.today.msnbc.msn.com)
• Christmas Time (socyberty.com)

There is not a more pleasing exercise of the mind than gratitude. It is accompanied with such an inward satisfaction that the duty is sufficiently rewarded by the performance. Joseph Addison

The appreciation, gratitude and love are the highest forms of vibration. As more of our thoughts and words become positive, we start attracting more and more positive people and circumstances.

When we express our gratitude, we focus on the positive and we just can’t focus on negative at the same time.

We often go through our lives wanting more and more of the things. We wish to have a new car, new TV, phone, new love, better job, better grades… and sometimes we forget what we already have and achieved.

It is even more difficult for the children to see and acknowledge their positive characteristics and possessions. They may not be aware how giant their achievements have been and what kind of persistence and courage it took to be what they are now. Help them recognize that they too have a lot to be thankful for.

Remember, only by acknowledging and accepting what we have, we can have more.

Focus today, no matter what is happening in your life, on the here and now. Be grateful for what you do have and be grateful you are growing toward where you want to be.

Grace isn’t a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It’s a way to live.
Jacqueline Winspear

Create a family tradition and every night before going to sleep spend some time together as a family thinking of things you are grateful for.

Make it a family habit and include gratitude in your everyday lives. Include different gratitude activities in your family time.

Think about the things you possess both material and non-material. Think about people you met. Think also about challenges that you need to overcome; they are usually blessings in disguise.

At difficult times we might think that we have nothing to be grateful for or we find it difficult to feel the gratitude. But in those days when we feel it least it is most important to remind ourselves of all the good things in our lives.

When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
G.K. Chesterton

It is important that we understand that our current experiences are guideposts showing us that we are either on the right path of creating our desired outcomes or that we need to make some adjustments.

Develop the attitude of gratitude and give thanks to others. Tell them you appreciate what they do and who they are.

Whenever you receive something, even if it’s just a penny or a smile, say a little prayer of gratitude. Acknowledge and be thankful for whatever you receive. You can thank the Universe, God or your favorite higher power, or just enjoy the feeling of gratitude for a moment. If you feel grateful for what you receive, you’ll open the doors to receive even more.

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John Fitzgerald Kennedy

**this is an excerpt from the ebook Gratitude is the best Attitude, giving you insights on the gratitude living in your family as well as many games and activites to teach your children  about gratitude – you can get it HERE at this LINK for FREE

Related articles

• Gratitude Rocks (blissybliss.wordpress.com)
• Gratitude Journal: A New Way of Thinking (veronicasrandomness.wordpress.com)
• Giving thanks helps your psychological outlook (mercurynews.com)

Did I help someone to realize a dream they thought they’d lost?

Did I listen when someone told me the reward is worth the cost?

Did I praise someone for their efforts and encourage someone toward their dreams?

Did I help someone to understand the end never justifies the means?

Did I make someone laugh and smile when they would much, rather frown?

Was I the one who picked them up when everyone put them down?

Am I, the one they confide in and know their conversations secure?

Did I provide them with someone to trust in knowing their friendship will always endure?

Am I humble and constantly striving to become more than I was yesterday?

Did I focus on the successes of others and follow through with all that I say?

If I constantly strive to become the one who can say I did to did I’s.

Then my life is fulfilled, knowing I have achieved life’s greatest prize.

Written by Carl Morris

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television – and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”

There would have been more “I love you’s”.. More “I’m sorrys” …

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute… look at it and really see it … live it…and never give it back.

This was written by the late Erma Bombeck
after she found out she had a fatal disease.

This year we cancelled our vacations due to my mother’s critical condition. And just because we were bound to stay at home, with no possibility and willingness to go not even on a one-day trip, we decided that we will paint the house.

At first glance it looked like a great idea. We had lots of time, we would save the money by doing it ourselves and we would be distracted and not feeling sorry for not going anywhere.

But… we didn’t realized how much work it is and how really exhausting it could be.

After a week of hard work and juggling between home and hospital, I quit. I wanted some time off. I wanted just a piece of vacations. A glimpse of joy and freedom.
So we spent the last days of holidays doing nothing. We laid by the pool, read books, play games, watched TV…

At first it was really strange. I felt guilty. Being around the house and seeing all the things that can be cleaned, changed, improved…

I guess we are taught that way – doing nothing is something we should be ashamed. And what a role model we are to the children if we are wasting time? I can just hear my mother: «Look at all this mess and you are watching TV!!«

With some effort we made it into a great time. It felt so good. It gave us peace, strength. It offered us moments to reflect, to be silly and to just quietly enjoy. It created the opportunities to connect, to talk about things we never had time for, to play games we were putting off.

How do you find the time to do nothing? To get away from your normal, everyday life? To quiet your body and mind? How do you feel when you are doing nothing?

Because, you know, we all need time to reset, to get energy back, to raise our vibrations. Sometimes we can do it by meeting friends or going to the cinema, but sometimes we just need time to do nothing.

It doesn’t have to be a week or a whole day, not even hours. Sometimes it’s enough to be still for minutes.

You can steal moments to watch the clouds. Or moon and the stars. You can cuddle with your child. Play with your pet. Listen to your favorite song. Dream. Or just do nothing.